Dark Corners
by Synthetic-Skywalker
Summary: [Sequel to Sweetly Shaken] After the disastrous end of his young lover, Obi-Wan struggles to go on without him, only to have his hope restored a year later. However, he doesn't realize what consequences come with this renewed hope. SLASH. Obi/Ani. Set to be somewhat modern.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey! I hope the last chapter of **_**Sweetly Shaken **_**didn't discourage you from reading this! All will be explained in time, I promise!**

**POV: Obi-Wan Kenobi**

It's been a year since Anakin's death and I still can't bring myself to cope with the fact that he was gone, cut right out of my life. It was something I didn't think I'd ever manage to deal with, losing the love of my life. Nobody truly understood and it was frustrating. Everyone was just waiting for me to snap and I really couldn't blame them.

Nothing's gone right so far and everything's been exhausting. I've been in close quarters with unwanted company as well and that whole situation made me uncomfortable all by itself. _Then_ rough hands gripped my shoulders and I violently shrugged them off. I _really_ didn't want to deal with him right now. Not when I was still thinking about Anakin as if he'd only died yesterday. "Obi-Wan," he said exasperatedly, "I'm only trying to help."

I rolled my eyes, not looking up at him. "If that's what you're trying to do, _leave,_" I hissed. "You're not welcome here."

He's been a pain in my ass since he came back and I truly wished he'd just stayed away. He chose the _wrong_ time to come back. "I know he's alive," he said quietly. "I know Xanatos and I know that killing my son would be too easy, too desperate a move for him to make."

I ground my teeth, then growled, "He is _not_ your son. You were never there for him." I stood up and got in his face. Damn him and his height. He was obviously where Anakin got it from. "You _abandoned_ him, his mother, and _me._" He would never be Anakin's father in my eyes, not after everything he's done. "The damn building _exploded_ right in front of me. He was _inside._" I closed my eyes and clenched my hands into fists. "As much as I want to say otherwise," I said bitterly, "he is _dead._"

He was eager in his reply. "I know Xanatos and this is just him trying to get revenge, Obi-Wan. He hates me for leaving him to be with Shmi. He never knew I was with you." Yes, that made it all right. Qui-Gon and Xanatos were husbands, Granta being a product of a failed heterosexual marriage of Xanatos and _whoever._ Qui-Gon decided to cheat on his husband and found Shmi, an innocent bystander in the whole affair. "Anakin wasn't planned," he said agonizingly slow. "He was an _accident_ that I was responsible for."

I gaped at him, wishing that he'd said something _else_ other than that. This was not the man I knew and loved over twenty years ago. This was a man who'd hardened and become bitter. "Only _you_ would call your own son a mistake. If you'd _ever_ been there for him, you could have _saved_ him." I firmly believed that, too. Xanatos knew Anakin was Qui-Gon's somehow and that was how he'd found him. He wanted to hurt Qui-Gon without _actually_ hurting him, so he'd wrought pain upon Anakin. Raping Anakin had been planned well in advance. Ten years later, even _Granta,_ Xanatos' son, played a part in hurting Anakin to hurt Qui-Gon. Xanatos was playing dirty and it worked because he'd drawn Qui-Gon out of hiding. "He is _not_ a mistake, you bastard."

I glared up at him to see him smiling softly. "You've always been a sweet man," he whispered. "You always wanted children." I was disgusted with him for even _thinking_ that was okay to bring up. When I was twenty, I was just a fool who blindly fell in love with a man I hardly knew as anything but my guardian. "That's why I love you."

Without even a second's hesitation, I bit out, "I love Anakin with all of my heart and soul, Qui-Gon." My face was burning up and I was getting furious with each and every word that came out of his mouth. "I feel _nothing_ for you. I _resent_ you. You brought him into a cruel world and stood by as he was raped and beaten. No _father_ should allow that to happen, but you _did._"

He stared at me in exasperation. "I wish I could have stopped those things, but I couldn't risk my—"

"If he were _my_ son, I would _die_ for him." Even as my lover, I would still die for him, but the connection between father and son was something I'd always dreamt of having. "I would have done something to help him even if it meant I put myself at risk."

Silence ensued after that and I moved to sit down, getting back to work. Qui-Gon should've stayed either under the rock he'd lived beneath for twenty years or the pit of lava burning in hell. I _hate_ him even though he's the reason Anakin was born. If not for this son of a bitch, I wouldn't have the light of my life. That didn't make me soften towards Qui-Gon though. Anakin was my life's purpose… and I'd failed him _miserably._ "I love him, Obi-Wan. I should have reached out to him. I know that now and I'm so sorry."

Qui-Gon wouldn't know love if it bit him in the ass. Abandoning your son, allowing him to suffer through rape and abuse… That was the complete _opposite_ of what love was. Anakin should _never_ have been subjected to those things, but he'd been placed in such a position because his father hadn't been there, his father had set him on the path of pain from the start. As much as I wish I could have changed Anakin's life sometimes, I realized that we may never have experienced our love if things had been different. Loving him is all I've needed since I fell for him. I gave him everything I had and he deserved so much more in addition. "_I _love Anakin. You can't feel _love._ You've never loved anyone, you self-involved _bastard._"

He sighed, shaking his head disapprovingly. He obviously didn't realize I'd grown up since his '_death._' "Obi-Wan, Anakin is my flesh and blood." I flinched at the thought that provoked. I would _never_ consider Qui-Gon family, not after all that he'd allowed his son to go through. "If you love him, you love _me._"

I snorted and he gave me a look of disbelief. After a year, he should know me better. I would _never_ love him again, not even as a companion. He was merely an acquaintance that meant _nothing_ to me. "I could never love you, Qui-Gon. You're the reason he was hurt so horribly over the years. You're the reason he was a shy, sad, and broken young man." I closed my eyes, images of my sweet Anakin coming and going slowly. How could I possibly be _sane_ without him? I had no idea how I hadn't gone insane. "You are the reason he's _dead._ I _hate_ you," I bit out, glaring up at him.

He visibly flinched, but I'd had enough of this. He made excuses for what he'd done to Anakin and Shmi. It's all he's done since he came back into my life. I'd spent twenty _years_ wasting away in my love for a man who hadn't even been _dead._ I could see his dark side as a result of it, and I didn't like it. Anakin also had a dark side, but he would _never_ do what Qui-Gon did to me. Qui-Gon reeked of deception each time he was in my presence, avoiding and outright _ignoring_ everything I'd said or asked. Yes, Anakin had done all of these at times, but never to _this_ extent. Anakin truly loved me and he wouldn't let some little argument destroy us. He apologized in ways Qui-Gon wasn't capable of doing. Anakin was such a sweetheart; nothing he ever did could make me hate him. His anger, his _self_ hatred... I loved him despite them. He didn't think he was better than anyone, especially me, and I admired that about him, not that I thought_ I _was better than him by any means. He just... He felt that he was _average._

A phone rang out in the main office and I sighed, glancing at Qui-Gon tiredly. He himself looked so aged now that I finally allowed myself to look at him. His hair and beard was grayer, face more ragged, shoulders slumped in defeat. "Obi-Wan, I know I hurt you and—"

"What you did was—"

The door to my office was thrust open and Mace's boss—Anakin's step-father's _brother_—entered. "Obi-Wan, your partner just called for backup." That set so many alarms off and worried me greatly. Quin was reckless and if he needed me, then something was terribly wrong. He'd been called out earlier on suspicions of foul play in an abandoned home in the _worst_ part of town. Someone called to report that two men and a woman entered over six months ago and they'd only seen two of the three reemerge since.

I nodded and looked away from Qui-Gon. He shouldn't even _be_ in here with me, the bastard. "I'll go right away." The other man backed out and I gave Qui-Gon a brief, last _glance_, only to see him looking at me apologetically. I shook my head and walked out. He'd caused too much pain for too many people. It was unforgivable. The fact that he'd had the nerve to spend time with Shmi and me on Anakin's _birthday_ made me loathe him with all of my being. Shmi had only just been released from the hospital about three months after Anakin was gone. She required a lot of attention and assistance, so I'd devoted as much of my time as humanly possible to her. I owed that to Anakin. If I let his mother go downhill, he would be disappointed in me. Besides, I love his mother as if she were my own. This all meant I'd had to quit one of my jobs and, as much as I loved teaching, I couldn't bear more evidence of Anakin's passing when I looked at his empty desk. It became too difficult to focus on the class when I was nearly falling apart from just _looking_ at the desk for a split second. It was hard enough to be home and not have him there with me.

I got into my cruiser and sighed, scrubbing over my face with one hand, my heart constricting. It's only been a year, but it felt like a decade. We would be mourning on the anniversary which was coming much quicker than I would've liked. Shoving my sadness aside, I forced myself to start up the car and drive out to Quin's location. It took half an hour, but Quin was the only one there when I'd arrived. The house looked like absolute_ shit._

I got out quietly and he came over to greet me with, "This place makes me nervous."

"Did you get a warrant?" I asked pointedly, remembering the _last_ assignment we'd had together.

"Of course I got the warrant," he said irritably, waving the paper around with a roll of his eyes. "I do learn from my mistakes, Obi. I'm not an imbecile."

"Could've fooled me," I muttered under my breath. "It took three visits from Mace to get you to see that?"

He glowered at me. "Some best friend you are," he said dejectedly. "Let's just go in, okay?" I nodded, following his lead up the small path towards the broken house, our hands immediately moving to rest on our holsters. We didn't know what we were walking into or who we'd be meeting inside. The front porch creaked at such an _ungodly_ pitch that I knew we'd be caught now, but we couldn't stop. Not now. Quin paused and I rolled my eyes, moving forward to touch the doorknob. As expected, it was locked. I stepped back, figuring I may as well make more noise since we'd already alerted them of our presence. I shot the lock and the door swung open slowly. We slowly, cautiously entered and the intense smell of rust hit us immediately, gagging us. "That's a _lot_ of fucking blood," he whispered. My stomach churned at the thought of what we'd find if this was how the place had been. Its first impression certainly wasn't a good one.

I tried to focus on my sight rather than my smell, but it didn't help much. The place was so old and it was blatantly obvious that no one had even tried to patch it up in a _long_ time.

Glass shattered and our guns flew out in an instant. Quin and I shared an uneasy look before I tipped my chin towards the stairs leading up to the next floor. He nodded and I watched him exit before moving about this floor myself. I went into what I chose to assume was the kitchen, only to find a black, weathered door with a sliding lock. That seemed suspicious, but I still moved to unlock it.

Once I pulled it open, I saw a staircase that descended into what looked like a cellar of some sort. I went down slowly, trying to expect anything to happen. As soon as I touched down onto the cellar floor, I heard whimpering and the rattling of chains. That made me feel a hell of a lot _worse._ Someone was down here, chained and bloody, and they were so afraid. I looked down and immediately regretted the decision. Blood and a mixture of so many other things were stained into the floor. It was disgusting and the smells weren't pleasant, but I couldn't imagine having to live in this. Whoever was down here was more than likely permanently traumatized for having to live this way for so long. This was the most disgusting thing I'd ever seen in my life and I just couldn't begin to fathom _why_ someone would do something like this to another human being.

I'd moved closer to the whimpering and it only worsened as I got closer. I could hear whoever it was, but there was a stack of crates barricading them, sheltering them from my vision. I moved cautiously around them, finding a chain binding them. That explained why they hadn't left. I stepped over the chain and peered in between the crates, the space that had been big enough for them to fit through. I found a naked man, huddling himself in the corner of several crates, shivering. He pressed his knees up to his chest and his face was pressed onto his kneecaps. His hair was long and dirty, skin bloodied and bruised, hands tied behind his back, and he trembled as though he thought I was his captor.

The closer I came, the more afraid he grew. He trembled and whimpered so viciously that it began to sound like he was sobbing and about to explode. He was so dirty, so...malnourished. I was drawn out of my inspection when I heard him muttering things I couldn't understand. His voice was hoarse and he sounded like he was expecting something horrible to happen to him. God, this poor boy.

I knelt beside him and looked at the extent to which he'd been tortured. He had so many cuts and bruises along his body and I couldn't tell which of them were new or old. I was crouched on his left side and my eyes trailed over his bruised and battered body clinically. There was nothing even _moderately _erotic about the situation. His ribs were prominent, disgustingly so. His wrists were bound tightly and it looked as though they hadn't been removed for quite some time, which meant his skin would be tender and raw. Glass was shattered around him and I wondered why he'd been trying to get to it. He couldn't cut through the chains holding him. He must've been startled by the noise above him if he'd dropped it. Maybe he... No. If he thought we were here to help him, then he wouldn't have been so afraid.

My eyes drifted along his body, following its path, until they landed upon his thigh. Something was sloppily etched into his skin and the closer I looked, the clearer the word became, and it chilled my heart. _Obi-Wan._

I looked at his head and the color was different, a honey coloring, but... I touched his arm gently and he lifted his head. He was _blindfolded._ However, there was no mistaking it now. I reached around behind him and untied the blindfold, slipping it away slowly once it was free. His eyes were open, but there was no recognition in them. Dear, God. Could he _see?_

A lump formed in my throat and my heart clenched. "Anakin," I said hoarsely. And then his eyes, distanced and glossy as they were, widened in absolute disbelief. I pulled him forward and held him against me. "Oh, my God," I whispered, sobbing. "My Anakin." He made unintelligible noises that I truly wished I could understand. His words were slurred and broken, blurring into each other. "Quin!" I shouted, knowing that bastard would hear me even two floors above me. I heard things crashing upstairs and I could hear his frantic stumbling down the stairs and through the kitchen, only to go down another set of stairs. Anakin was kissing my body, a whimpering and trembling mess.

"Obi-Wan!" He came crashing down the stairs and circled over to me quickly. As soon as he found us, he gaped, his eyes bulging from their sockets. "Holy shit. Holy fucking shit."

"Call an ambulance! _Now!_" I ordered fiercely. He quickly pulled his phone out, dialed, and described the nature of our emergency. Anakin was desperately in need of a hospital.

•◊•

I couldn't pull myself away from Anakin for even a _second_ if I'd tried. Quin and a few other officers were waiting around the neighborhood for Anakin's captors to return. He would arrest the ones responsible for Anakin's suffering. The poor man's speech was altered so dramatically and he definitely couldn't see. He _really _couldn't take care of himself at the moment. It was heartbreaking.

I'd managed to convince him to take a shower, but only because he'd pulled me in with him, not like I'd objected however. I watched every bit of filth slide off his body and down the drain of the shower sadly. He knew it was me touching him, so he had no problem with me cleaning him. He'd stroked the nurse's jaw earlier and was immediately frightened. He felt me for my beard and listened for my voice. He needed me and I didn't even try to deny him.

I held him up, his arms draped over my shoulders. He was really trying to tell me something and I felt _terrible._ He got so frustrated because he knew what he was trying to tell me, but he also knew he wasn't getting anything through to me.

"Ani," I whispered, stroking his back and kissing his cheek. "My Anibanani." I chuckled until he made a choked sound close to a sob. "My love, relax. Everything will return in time. You heard the doctor. You just need patience." He scrambled to find my hand and I slipped it into his, letting him squeeze my hand. He shook violently and I stared up at his face sorrowfully. All of this was so frustrating for him. I could absolutely understand, too. If I couldn't see or talk to the man I love with all of my being, I'd be frustrated _myself._ "We're going to get you through this, darling. I promise."

I scrubbed his hair with soap while he stroked his thumbs along my hands and up my arms. He made a few quiet sounds before finally giving up and slumping his shoulders in defeat. I frowned, hating this. This shouldn't be how he has to live, not at twenty-four. "Tirr-eff-sis," he growled. I had no idea what that meant. He hoarsely got out, "Oh-baan," and I knew he'd said my name, or at least _tried_ to say my name.

"Yes, lover?"

"Ee-errmey." He paused, seemingly distanced from himself. "_Ee-errmey._" He repeated that phrase a few more times and then he finally snapped, hitting the shower wall _hard._ His knuckles cracked and I winced. He looked so pained and it _hurt._ I stroked his cheek gently, hoping that he'd calm down a little. I was relieved when he leaned into my hand and nuzzled it. "Ul-oh-ou."

I wished I knew what he was saying. I wanted to do _something_ to alleviate his stress. I felt so bad being so clueless like this. He needed me to support him and I was powerless, absolutely powerless. He whispered the last phrase once more and simultaneously pressed a kiss to my forehead. After that small gesture, the words dawned on me. "You love me." I looked up at him incredulously to see him nod. "Even after all this time apart? You still love me?" He nodded again, adding a smile this time. "Do you… Do you know how long we've been apart, Ani?" He shook his head and swallowed hard. I could imagine that his captors never once told him how long it'd been and I bet it felt like an eternity to Anakin. I couldn't tell him he'd suffered for a year. I couldn't bring myself to do that to him just yet. Instead, I changed the subject. "Will you let me shave you and cut your hair?" He didn't respond, facially or otherwise, for a few moments, but eventually slowly nodded. I sighed, pressing myself against his naked body. His arms wrapped around me. He couldn't see me at all right now, but he'd somehow managed to fit us together perfectly. The embrace wasn't anywhere near being awkward. It felt…_normal._ "You still know my body so well," I whispered. "You… You fit perfectly against me." It did feel perfect. Even knowing he'd suffered greatly, this moment was the most important thing _now._ Living in the here and now was what he _needed._

"Ul-oh-ou."

"I love you, too," I said without even thinking about it. That was what I liked the most about this. I didn't have to _think_ I loved him. I _know _I love him and I could openly tell him that as easily as he could say it to me. He rubbed my back and I could feel his smile against my neck. I breathed slowly against him, relaxing. "I'm so glad to have you back."

He allowed me to finish washing him up and rinsing him off and, once I was sure he was as clean as he could be, I helped him out into the other room and got him onto the bed. I kissed his forehead, moving across the room to grab my jacket. I slid it on and began to zip it until I heard a strangled sound behind me. I turned instantly to face him. He looked like a wild animal, his eyes so frightened and fiery. I knew from that look that something was really wrong. "Du-nee-mey!" he cried out, scrambling about to find the edge of the bed so he could get up.

I ran over to him and gripped his arms tightly, wishing he could look at my face. "Ani, Ani," I said hurriedly, watching him thrash around manically. "I'm here. I'm right here." He breathed heavily, sobbing, as his hands came up to grip my forearms. His grip made it seem like I was planning on leaving him forever. "I'm not leaving you." Well, not now anyway. I was considering going home to get a razor, shaving cream, and a pair of scissors. I suppose I'd just have to call Quin and have him bring those things to me. "Baby," I whispered as he continued to tremble. "I'm not going anywhere. I _promise._" Soon, I hoped to understand the extent to which he'd suffered so I knew how much damage I needed to repair in order to help him. I couldn't even begin to imagine the hell he'd been through. Seeing him like this told me that he'd gone through something _extremely_ terrifying and traumatizing. I pressed the side of my face against his chest since he kept my arms captive in their current position, and began to hum to him.

His tense body slowly began to unwind, and I was grateful for that. "Mm-erre." He leaned forward to bury his face in my neck and repeated that word over and over. After what I thought was the fourth or fifth time, he began to sob again. "Mm-erre."

I closed my eyes and stroked his hair. "Darling, hush." He was _apologizing._ To _me._ "Good God," I said aloud, intending for _that_ to be kept in my head. "Please, don't apologize. _None_ of this was your fault." He made more strangled noises, denying what I'd just told him. "Anakin," I whispered. "Oh, baby, please. You're not at fault. We're going to get those fuckers, Ani. I will _personally_ see to it that they die painfully for what they've done. I _swear_ that to you." He kept sobbing and denying what we both knew was the truth. He _is_ the victim here, so I don't know why he thinks he needs to say otherwise. He never asked for this to happen to him.

•◊•

The notebook flew across the room and I refrained from moving to retrieve it again. He's been home for two weeks, living quietly with me. No one knew he was alive but the hospital, Quin, Mace, Luminara, and me. Shmi was too far gone to understand right now and I knew Anakin couldn't cope with what he'd been through _plus_ seeing what state his mother had been left in. He needed time to recover, but that was hard to do when he was irritable at every possible moment. Nothing I or his speech therapist said or did seems to help him in the slightest bit. He sat on the floor beside my legs, head in his hands. He'd regained a little of his vision, but it was still hazy. He could barely see his writing unless he held the notebook up to his face and then he loathed the fact that his handwriting now looked like a child scribbled across the paper.

I would wait for him to relax as the psychologist suggested. Then again, this same psychologist declared him _emotionally disturbed_, which infuriated Anakin to no end. He sighed in frustration and pushed himself up. I watched him stagger across the room, but noted that he was definitely getting better. He was able to keep himself upright without my help for the most part. There were still times when he'd fall to his hands and knees and I'd have to help him up as he sobbed, but he was improving a little more each day. He grabbed the notebook and smoothed out the crinkled papers before returning to me. He knelt in front of the living room coffee table, laying his notebook on the surface of it for him to write.

Once he'd finished, he gave me the notebook and I read what he needed to say. "I'm sorry. I love you. Thank you for dealing with me."

I smiled sadly at him and handed the notebook back to him. "I love you, too, and you know I'm here for you." I stroked his hair slowly. "And dealing with you? Sweetheart, I've been with you since I got you back. I _want_ to see you get better. I'll be here every step of the way."

He scribbled quickly, and then held the notebook up to me. "You're amazing!"

I chuckled. "Only because I have such an amazing—" I paused, pondering what I was just about to say. After a year, were we still engaged to one another?

He gave me a confused look and wrote, "What?"

"Stay here," I said hurriedly. I rose from the couch and went into the bedroom, picking up a small box from my nightstand. I held it as though it was precious, and indeed it was. I went back into the living room, taking my place on the couch again before holding the box out between us. He gave me a perplexed look. I bit my lip and slowly opened the box, watching his reaction carefully. My heart fluttered when his entire face _lit up._ "Will you still marry me?" I asked timidly. He nodded eagerly, grinning, and held his left hand out to me. I _loved_ to see that he was still excited about this. I know he still loves me, but I didn't know where he'd stand on the idea of marriage after a year apart. Slipping the ring onto his finger, I realized he was _crying._ "Oh, baby…" I set the box down beside my thigh and framed his face with my hands, leaning forward to kiss his nose. "Don't cry, my beautiful man."

He gave me a weak laugh and pulled back to scribble on the paper. "I didn't think you'd still want me forever." As I gaped at him for even _thinking_ that, he wrote: "I'm grateful and I truly love you." This man, after all he'd been through, is _still_ my everything.

"Ani, I love you more than anything." I pressed my lips to his forehead, sliding my hands over his broad shoulders and down his strong, scarred, bare arms until I could take his hands in mine. "God, do I love you," I said breathlessly, bumping my nose against his playfully. I was lucky to have him here with me. Thinking he was dead for a year hadn't sparked _any_ hope within me. I never thought I'd see him again after he was kidnapped, after the explosion…

I still wondered why he was hiding what happened from me and the psychologist. I've never _once_ turned him away or told him I didn't want to help him. That was the complete opposite of what our relationship is. We listen to each other and struggle to make it through hell together. For the first time in two weeks, he was absolutely unresponsive. There had been a few times where he'd frozen up like this, but he'd come out of it almost as quickly as he'd slipped into it. He wouldn't explain and I vowed not to push him.

It just… I worried about him.

I rubbed his fingers, waiting for him to come back to me. Several minutes passed and he still hadn't moved or reacted to my touch. His eyes looked distant and glossy. I desperately wanted to say something to snap him out of it, but I was afraid of what he was seeing. Some part of his torture must have crept back into the forefront of his mind and I couldn't do anything to stop it or help him. His eyes suddenly shut tightly, his fingers gripping mine tightly enough to nearly break them, and his teeth ground together. "Nn-gh!" He thrashed around, screaming what I assumed was '_no._' He threw himself forward, crashing right into me.

The psychologist warned me that this might happen. He told me that I needed to have patience and let him ride the nightmare out, but… I found that painful to do. "Anakin," I whispered, my voice shaking. I held him tightly, heart pounding in sync with each labored breath he took. "Love, I'm here. Obi-Wan's here." All I could do was give him support and let him know that he definitely had it. Watching him fall apart was breaking my heart. _This_ was what hurt the most. I'd seen and felt him like this during the night several times over the last couple of weeks. He'd wake up in a cold sweat after screaming and thrashing in bed. Whatever happened to him _broke_ him.

His strangled cries became quiet sobs as he finally began to calm down. He stopped fighting against me, instead leaning _into_ me. "I'm here. I've got you." Oh, God. Why did this have to happen to _him?_ He'd never done anything to deserve _this._ No one, not even the lowest human being—the exception being his captors—deserved _this._ He clutched me tightly, trying to make sure I wasn't going to leave him. He knew I would never let him go. Not again. _Never_ again.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Just a quick thank you to Anakinskywalkergo for inspiring me with a review you left on **_**Sweetly Shaken**_** not too long ago. I'm sure you'll recognize it immediately. :)**

**POV: Anakin Skywalker**

"_You really expect me to believe that _my_ Obi is in love with a whore._" The fact that he'd enunciated '_my_' made me furious. I ignored the blood and the pain in my wrist as I continued to tug at my bonds, refusing to look that _monster_ in the eyes, instead choosing to keep my eyes on Obi-Wan, who was unconscious and lying on the ground just a few feet away. I would _never_ forgive myself if he was grievously injured. This was all my fault…Qui-Gon's face was suddenly in my personal space, his breath reeking of alcohol and cigars. "_I've seen you two together,_" he hissed. "_I've been watching you for so long—even your most private, intimate moments were my entertainment._" I couldn't suppress the shudder that consumed me as he continued tormenting me with his vicious words. "_He says he loves you. Over and over and over…_" He moved away, taking his stench with him. He paced slowly in front of me, thinking, then turning to face me, a strange glint in his eyes. "_And maybe he does. Just not in the way you think._" He chuckled, shaking his head. "_To him, you're just a _duty. _He'd be wracked with guilt and pity if he left you, so he stays._"

"_Shut up!_" I cried out, not wanting to believe this. At first, I was shocked to hear my own voice, but that shock quickly wore off. This bastard had to be lying. Obi-Wan loves me. I…I know he loves me…

He moved lightning quick, gripping my shirt tightly. "_Get it through your thick skull! Just think about it. He stays because he 'cares about you.'_" He scoffed at me and my eyes started watering. "_You're only making him miserable! He _longs _for the day when he'll get relief. He can't find it now because the second he wanders away, even the _slightest_ distance, you create a disaster to pull him back. You're holding him back._"

Unwillingly, my mind flashed back to all of the times that I'd told Obi-Wan I'd go insane without him, that I wouldn't be here if not for him. Without him, I'd die, and I recognized the guilt trip in that. That frightening trace of guilt scared the hell out of me. "_No…_" I whispered despite knowing that it was true.

"_Don't you see, Anakin? With you, he's miserable._" His voice dripped with eagerness; he knew I knew he was right. "_Without you, guilt would tear him apart. He's your prisoner and you can't even see it._" I could feel the bonds around my wrists loosening, but I couldn't focus on that right now. I was staring at Obi-Wan whose back was to me, bloody and bruised. _Because of me._ No, this wasn't true. He loves me. He's told me before! He wanted to _marry _me! He loves me. He loves me. _He loves me._

Doesn't he?

Something metallic was shoved into my hands. "_What—?_"

I barely have the time to register the word _gun_ before he speaks again. "_Kill him._"

I opened my eyes, gasping silently, to find myself staring at skin that was mere inches from my face. Warm arms were wrapped around me protectively, holding me tight. Despite the way I've acted around him when he's asleep, I knew it was him, not... Not that _monster._ Obi-Wan was just so... I couldn't even think of any way to possibly describe this magnificent man. He tolerates me when I can't tolerate _myself._ He's been so understanding and patient, but I didn't understand how that was possible given that I hadn't been able to do anything on my own for a while. I had no job and I couldn't pursue one right now even if I tried. He had to deal with someone who could barely form coherent _words._ Fuck, that hasn't been the only unsatisfying thing going for me right now. I couldn't even manage to bring myself off in bed with him. Being unable to scream his name or ask him to fuck me harder was such a turn off for _me._ I could only make sounds that worried him. I couldn't do anything to tell him I was all right, that he didn't need to worry.

He still managed to get me to orgasm though, but it too much effort than was strictly necessary, which only served to frustrate me more by the time it was all over. It took too much effort and wasted so much time and that wasn't fair to him by any means. It didn't help that I was absolutely _terrified_ when we undressed and got into bed together. He didn't need to know and I wasn't going to tell him. He would be cautious of my feelings if I told him I was afraid of having sex with him. It wasn't even his fault. It was Xanatos who did this to me, who wrecked me. Actually, it was what Xanatos had done as well as what Granta and his friend had done. I was starting to feel sick just thinking about it. What would Obi-Wan think of me if I ever told him this? He hasn't looked at me any differently in the past, but this was so much worse than anything I've _ever_ told him. I knew he wouldn't be overly harsh because he isn't one to intentionally cause pain, but he wouldn't be able to accept me this way.

Rolling over onto my back, I stared up at the ceiling briefly, closing my eyes a few moments later when I felt tears welling up in them. I couldn't contemplate telling Obi-Wan what happened. I just got back to my life, my Obi-Wan, and I wasn't ready to let that slip through my fingers. I _want_ to be with him. This wasn't fair. This _truly_ wasn't fair…

I let out a shaky breath and then warm fingers were intertwining with my own. I threw my head to the side to look at him, finding so much pain as he'd watched me. He squeezed my hand, giving me a faint, reassuring smile. I turned over entirely to lay on my side again and scooted closer to him, burying my face in his chest. His free hand stroked my back slowly, thoughtfully. "Was it another nightmare?" I shook my head and closed my eyes, listening to his heartbeat. "Do you want to talk about whatever it was?"

Not entirely. "Hollme." I _really_ tried to say '_hold me._' My mouth and voice box just didn't want to cooperate with my brain. _Damn it all._ "Holl–d," I forced out, my voice strained, "_me._"

He froze against me and I tensed up. When I opened my eyes, I found him staring at me in awe. "You…" He shook his head and draped an arm over my side, pulling me closer to him. "I'll hold you forever." I was lying on one arm and the other stayed draped over my side. I knew that _eventually_ the arm beneath me would go numb and I'd have to move. I relaxed a little more, listening to his breathing in an attempt to get myself back to sleep. Without warning, vivid images of me lying in Xanatos' arms invaded my mind. He stroked my hair and rubbed my back after brutally fucking me. The pain still lingered and my heart _hurt._ I could feel Xanatos rubbing against me, coming on me. I gasped and pushed myself away, turning to look for the exit. He could beat me and put me in the cellar again for all I care. I just wanted to escape _him._ I lurched off the bed, seeing nothing but hell incarnate around me. This house was hell and Xanatos is its devil. I collapsed to my knees unwillingly, only to have strong arms wrapping around me. I screamed and cried, wanting anything but to go back into that bedroom, into that _bed._ "Anakin," the voice said, deceptively soothing. "Baby, I'm here." _No, no, no._ Please… Please let _go._ The voice changed into that of a brokenhearted man, _my man._ "Ani, I love you," he whispered, kissing my neck gently. "Come back to me, sweetheart."

I stopped fighting the embrace once I realized it wasn't _Xanatos_ holding me. I fell back in a boneless heap against him. He rested his head against mine, one of his hands coming to rest on my chest just above my heart while the other was splayed over my stomach. His breathing was just as erratic as mine was, but he was sniffling on top of that, which made me feel terrible. What Qui-Gon said was true. He is my prisoner. "Mmse—"

"No apologies," he interjected. "I don't know what happened to you while you were gone, but I do know that you've nothing to be sorry for. And I'm not going anywhere, Ani. I can't abandon you. _Ever._" There it was. He _can't_ abandon me. He felt trapped here. I'm just a duty, someone he took unnecessary responsibility for. "You're my fiancé, my sweetheart, my Anakin…" He nuzzled my hair with his face. "And I love you to pieces." Of all the people Obi-Wan could have possibly end up with, how did he pull the short straw? He deserves so much better than this. How did he get so unlucky as to get _stuck_ with me? I can't tell him I love him unless I write it down for him, but why_ should_ I if he's here only because he'd feel guilty to leave me like this? Whenever I've stumbled to say I love him, he knew what I was _trying_ to say, but I was still fed up with living this way, making _him_ live this way. "Do you hear me?" he asked quietly. I didn't respond. I _couldn't._ What was I supposed to do or say to him now? I can't tell him anything because he'll _leave_ me. I shuddered at that thought. I'm so _selfish._

He shifted us on the floor a bit and grabbed the notebook from beneath my side of the bed. He held it in front of me, silently urging me to '_talk._' I took it and pulled the pencil out of the binding, straining my eyes as I wrote. "I didn't act like that because of anything you did." He kissed the side of my face, which told me he already knew that. I frowned. He would never get out of this without feeling an immense amount of guilt.

"Do you want to tell me what it was?"

I wrote '_no_,' but scribbled over it, instead writing: "Bad memories." He wound his arms around me a little tighter. He wanted to know what happened to me and I was so afraid to tell him, but I also felt a twinge of guilt at the thought of actually telling him. I discovered on my own that I'd been gone for a little over a year. So that meant I'd missed him turning forty, my twenty-fourth birthday, mom's fortieth birthday, _and_ the first anniversary of my dad's passing. I'd missed everything that meant something to me.

"I'm here whenever you want to open up to me," he whispered. "You know I'm here." I stared into his eyes and saw the sincerity there. _Fuck Qui-Gon._ He was wrong. Obi-Wan _does_ love me. If he didn't, he wouldn't look at me with eyes that sparked or lit up. This sweet man is _my_ man. He has never once shut me out. There had once been _many_ fights between us regarding my bad habits and my infrequent accusations that he was seeing someone behind my back. I grew up since those fights, manned up a bit. I had _nothing_ to worry about. Obi-Wan is _not_ the kind of guy to lie to or hurt me. It happens, but it's never done intentionally and he feels terrible afterwards. He would tell me if he didn't want to be with me.

"I—" I struggled, coughing, my voice sounding hoarse. "I ul-ul-oh..." I closed my eyes and Obi-Wan stroked my cheek. He knew I was getting frustrated already. "_Ul-ove._" I opened my eyes when it _kind of_ sounded like I said 'love.' I cleared my throat, deciding that I would just finish this suffering once and for all. I wanted to say it all together, but we'd be here all day. "_Yuh-ou._" I twisted away, ashamed by my failure at saying three simple words. He gripped my chin gently and turned my face towards him, smiling warmly at me.

His eyes seemed to sparkle while he stared into mine. His smile was infectious and I couldn't help but chuckle at how silly I was being. Yes, the frustration was tangible whenever I couldn't say something properly, but I really didn't _need_ to be embarrassed with _him._ "And I love you," he said sweetly. "You're doing so well, Ani." My heart beat erratically just knowing he was proud of me for my progress, albeit slow progress. He leaned forward, pressing his lips against mine. "I love you so much."

You know, he looked gorgeous right now. Well, he always did, but more so right now. I actually _looked_ at him for the first time since we'd gotten back together. I could see a few gray hairs this close and his face looked beautiful, but worn. He looked so tired, but happy. The bridge of his nose looked like it had been sculpted by the most talented sculptor known to mankind. His eyes were so deep and full of so much emotion.

He lifted his hand to my face and slid one finger along the scar I was disgusted by, the one that bisected above and below my right eye. I had smaller scars elsewhere, but the _worst_ was that one scar. Some scars would fade given time, but this... This was permanent.

The doorbell rang, shattering the beautiful silence we'd built up between us. Obi-Wan looked as confused as I felt. It was five thirty in the _morning._ Who would—_Quin._ Duh! Of course he'd be the only one to show up whenever he wanted. Obi-Wan shifted me so that I was lying on my back, staring up at him. He pressed his lips to mine and asked me to stay put. He slid off of the bed and grabbed some boxers, pulling them on. He left the room and I sighed, getting up. I pulled my own boxers on so I could follow him out. This is my home, too, and Quin's also my friend. I went out into the other room, eager to see Quin now that I wasn't looking all dirty and fucked up. "Obi-Wan—" a strange, unfamiliar voice said. That most definitely was _not_ Quin.

"You have _no right_ coming here, demanding to see him," Obi-Wan growled, a deep, throaty growl that I'd never heard before. Whoever it was wanted to see me and he obviously didn't like that idea. Who wanted to see me? Nobody knew I was alive. "Leave or, so help me _God,_ I will remove you _myself._" He sounded so fierce, like an animal whose power and possessions were threatened. But... why?

I moved further into the room and gasped upon seeing who stood in front of Obi-Wan. He spun quickly, his eyes wide, lips parting. _Qui-Gon_ was staring at me blankly, like he couldn't believe I was standing here. "Anakin, I _swear_ there's _nothing_—"

"Anakin." I didn't want to see him. Not here, not now. _Not after my dream_ and especially not mere inches from _my_ half naked Obi-Wan. "You've grown so much," he said, awed. I shuddered. Obi-Wan was right. Qui-Gon didn't have the right to come here. I could have lived my whole life happily without _ever_ meeting him. He took a step forward and I backed away. I hadn't even thought about it, but my body reacted before my brain gave it an order. "Anakin, I won't hurt y—"

Obi-Wan was outraged and immediately moved again to block Qui-Gon's path. "Don't you think you've hurt him enough?" I gave Obi-Wan a confused look when he turned slightly to look at me. "It's _his _fault. He's the cause of everything, Anakin. _Everything._"

Qui-Gon cleared his throat and crossed his arms defensively. "Xanatos was my husband." The name alone made me stumble backwards and my veins heated up until the pain was excruciating. "I cheated on him and...had a one night stand with...your mother." Mom always made me think I'd been planned, that my father wanted a child with her. _Father._ The man standing in front of me would _never_ be my father. "I know he raped you," he said bluntly, making my heart ache. My back finally hit the wall and I trembled, feeling the ghost of Xanatos' hands roaming over me, followed by the cool edge of a razor. This bastard knew I'd been raped and did nothing about it. "He knows you're my son. He—"

I clutched the sides of my head, not wanting to hear anything else. I closed my eyes and sobbed painfully, chest heaving. I felt so _cold._ I felt so alone. The image of Xanatos touching me faded and in its place was Granta and his friend. They made me shudder when they talked about how they wanted to fuck me _right in front of me._ I tried to fight him, but I wasn't much of a threat while tied up and blindfolded. My body ached at the memory of so much pain. If Quinlan _ever_ asked for a threesome again, I'd probably _punch_ him. Especially if what he said suggested double penetration. I would _not_ willingly subject myself to that. _Never again._ I couldn't handle that pain, that amount of sickening revulsion.

Revulsion at _myself,_ what I was good for. The only thing I was good for was lying there, letting men do as they pleased with my body. That's _all_ I could give. My body convulsed and I covered my mouth as I felt like I was about to heave. I was startled by the feel of warm, gentle hands rubbing my thighs. I slowly opened my eyes, meeting blue-gray orbs of beauty that were so close to me. His hands came up to take mine so slowly, so carefully. My heart still beat erratically, but I was relaxed by his touch and he knew it. He intertwined our fingers while I tried to steady my breathing. "Th—" I coughed a bit, wincing. "Th–_anks._"

He smiled warmly and squeezed my fingers, shaking his head. "You don't need to thank me. You never need to," he whispered. "I know you'd do the same if it were me." I held his gaze, wishing I could just…sink into him, be part of him. I knew he wanted that, too. He lifted his left hand, still entwined with mine, and brushed his knuckles over my cheek.

I glanced over Obi-Wan's shoulder when I noticed movement behind him. I'd completely forgotten Qui-Gon was here. My face burned with shame. It was bad enough that I acted like I belonged in an asylum while I was alone with Obi-Wan. Acting like this in front of someone else was _horrifying._ "What did he do to you?" he asked, his eyes wide, mouth agape.

Obi-Wan turned on him so quickly that I couldn't register it at first. "Don't you _dare_ ask him to tell you," he hissed. "It's _his_ business, _his _privacy."

Qui-Gon's eyes shifted to lock onto Obi-Wan's and a chill was sent up my spine. He wasn't looking at Obi-Wan like he was angry or…or … _No._ He's still in love with Obi-Wan. "He hasn't even told _you._" It was a statement, not a question.

My lover's body heat vanished and I gaped up at him as he rose to his feet, stalking over to Qui-Gon, jabbing him in the chest with a finger accusingly. "_I _am not _you._ _I _won't force him to tell me what happened. _I_ am not that _selfish._"

"I never said you were sel—"

"He is _my_ lover, Qui-Gon. I will take care of him until the day comes when I can't move of my own free will." Qui-Gon lifted his hands in an attempt to grasp Obi-Wan's, but Obi-Wan shoved him back. "I'm in _love_ with him, your son. I loved him before I even _knew_ he was your son." He sounded resentful and I wasn't sure if that was because of what Qui-Gon had done to him or something else. "_He_ is twice the man you'll ever be." Qui-Gon and I both gaped at him now, astonished.

I knew Obi-Wan never wanted to share me with another man, and I was _absolutely_ fine with that, but I hadn't realized how possessive of me he was until now. I can't say I don't like that because I'm pretty much the same way about him. Qui-Gon actually _touched_ Obi-Wan's chest. "I love—"

"No!" Obi-Wan snarled, tearing himself away from Qui-Gon's touch. "You can't love _anyone._ I mean, look at you!" He looked confused, but realized what Obi-Wan was getting at when he motioned towards me. "You'd leave your son for dead if it meant you'd be safe, hiding from Xanatos. You _are_ pursuing me right in front of _your_ son even though you are very much aware of my feelings for him." He was glaring at Qui-Gon now. "What kind of father does that to their child? How can you love someone else if you can't love the person you _created?_"

It was absolutely silent for a long time after that. I was stunned by how Obi-Wan acted, but… He loves me. I should never doubt that after tonight. He chose me over his old lover, the man he'd loved for more than twenty years. "Obi–"

He held up a hand and sighed, shaking his head. He turned and held his hands out for me, which I eagerly and appreciatively grasped. He pulled me up and held me against him, resting his head on my chest. "I love you," he whispered, squeezing my waist. He reluctantly pulled himself away from me. "Darling, why don't you go wait for me in our bedroom?" he said quietly, his voice calmer now. He looked up at me and I could see that there was a discussion coming in the very near future. Before I could even turn away, he reached up to stroke my jaw lightly, giving me a bright smile that I couldn't resist returning.

I went into our bedroom and sat up against the pillows on my side, the blankets covering up to my waist. I fidgeted with my fingers while I waited. I heard them arguing and I knew I had to leave them alone. They'd spent time together for the year that I'd been supposedly dead. This was something Obi-Wan needed to resolve on his own, unfortunately. I looked up when I heard the front door slam and lock. Not even a minute later, he padded across the living room and came into the bedroom, stopping in the doorway to stare at me. "What?" My eyes widened when I realized I'd said my first word since coming back without _struggling._ He grinned and shook his head.

"I'm so lucky to have you, Ani. You have no idea." He came further into the room and crawled across the bed. I shifted the blankets for him so he could crawl underneath them, and he did. He twisted so he faced me. "Do you mind if I talk?" he asked quietly. I shook my head and kissed his forehead. He sighed heavily. "If there's any doubt in your mind about how I feel for you, I will honestly tell you that he's been nothing but a nuisance since showing up. I blamed myself for your…death, and then I blamed him the more he told me about what he'd done." Our legs brushed against each other under the blanket and he sighed again. "I feel nothing for him, Ani. I have _you._ I just walked in here in what could be considered a very dark mood for me, and—" He paused when I started chuckling. "Why is that funny?" I motioned towards the notebook and he shook his head. "We need to work on your speech. Try, my love."

"_Yuh-ou_ are…not a d-_ark_ person." He smiled at me, reaching up to hold my neck. "I know…know _you_ ul-ove _me._" I was able to say 'you' without struggling now, but I'd also put a lot of effort into stressing that word.

"Do you doubt me at all? Even a little bit?" I shook my head and leaned closer to him, pressing him down onto the bed. He allowed me to rest my head on his shoulder and slid one arm beneath me, circling around my back to hold me close. "Good," he whispered. "I…I came in here and saw you sitting here, waiting for me, and…" He trailed off, so I slid a hand up his chest, rubbing just below his collarbone. "And you looked beautiful. Anakin, you make me feel secure. I know that when I walk into this room, I have nothing to hide from you. I know I can open up to you and make love to you. I know I have you here to keep me warm, to wake up next to tomorrow morning." He laughed lightly. "Do you understand how wonderful that feeling is?"

"Yes."

He rubbed my shoulder with his thumb. "I'm never letting you go again, Ani. I won't lose you to death and I won't allow anyone to come between us, not even your father." He lifted my chin gently and I looked into his eyes. "No one can come between us. I've waited all my life for you, Anakin. You…" His face turned bright red, but he continued nonetheless. "You were made for me, Ani. I strongly believe that." I grinned, liking the idea of having been purposely made to love him and only him. "You were meant to be mine and I'm meant to be yours." He kissed my hair. "I'm not letting anyone tear us apart. I can't _not_ love you, Ani."

We talked… Well, _he_ talked a little more after that. He felt better getting everything out in the open with me and I appreciated it. It was nice to see that I had this effect on him even after leaving him alone for a year. If we could survive a year apart, we could survive anything.


	3. Chapter 3

**POV: Obi-Wan Kenobi**

I sat on a soft couch, watching Anakin as he made sounds with his speech therapist. He was getting a lot better and I couldn't stop grinning lately. We'd actually been able to _talk_ a little more without a whole lot of problems. The therapist said that maybe a month or two more of this would be beneficial. I had no reason to protest that because I could see Anakin was making significant progress. The one thing that did bother me was how costly each session was and we were coming three times a week. It was about two hundred dollars per session since we were here for two hours. Not that Anakin was aware of the costs...

He was pronouncing his name and basic sentences. His words still slurred a bit, but they were so much easier to understand now. This was fantastic. "Obi-Wan." I blinked and smiled at him, thrilled to hear my name for the first time in months. Well, without some unintelligible sound to it anyway. "I _love_ you."

"I love you, too," I said softly. We spent another hour here before the session ended. We even walked out hand in hand because he was so _happy_ today. We got into my car and I waited for him to buckle up. When he looked at me, he cocked an eyebrow. "I'm so proud of you." I stroked his cheek with my knuckles. His face turned a light shade of red and I chuckled. He's so cute when I compliment him. "Oh, baby, I'm so thrilled for you. Anyone else would have given up long before this." I flexed my hand and pressed my palm against his cheek now, which he immediately nuzzled into. "You pushed on despite the frustration," I said quietly, staring into his eyes. "Now look at you, my love."

"I did it because of you." He closed his eyes when I rubbed my thumb over his cheekbone. "You're the reason I kept going because I seriously would have given up if not for you." I knew he'd say that, honestly. When Anakin does something, he usually has a reason for it and that reason is usually me. "Anyone else would've left me, Obi," he whispered brokenly.

He opened his eyes now and stared right back into mine. "You know I won't leave. I can't function without you in my life and it hurt to try." He leaned closer and I closed the distance, pressing my lips against his soft mouth. He moaned quietly and then pulled away abruptly. He was trembling and I wondered if I'd done something that brought on a bad memory. If I had... As I stared at his eyes, I realized he was looking _past_ me. "What is it?" He started breathing heavily, his eyes glossing over. I looked down at his hands and he was rubbing the scars on his wrist. I turned to look at whatever it was that made him act like this and I saw a man in a dark overcoat walking down the street across the way. "Anakin, who is that?" I asked him firmly.

"He-He..." He swallowed hard, his eyes brimming with tears. I already knew the answer and it made my heart tighten in my chest and my blood run cold. He wouldn't act like this if something horrible hadn't happened to him. "He raped me," he said, his voice quiet, barely even a whisper. "_Raped_ me," he repeated, sobbing now. I'd never seen that man before and he honestly didn't _look_ like a rapist, but I believed Anakin, especially with this reaction to just _seeing_ him. He looked _terrified._ "He—a-and Granta," he gasped. "They—together—" I couldn't mask my pained shock at that. This was the first time he was actually telling me _something_ about what happened. He took a deep breath and looked at me, still clearly shaken.

That son of a bitch out there broke Anakin, made him afraid of the _sight_ of this man. Anakin isn't one to be afraid for no reason at all and I didn't like how afraid he was. We'd been happy... _He'd_ been happy for a little while and I loved it. To see it so easily shattered hurt. While Anakin trembled right in front of me, that man was walking around without a care in the world. Well, _not for long._ "Stay here," I said hurriedly. I popped the glove compartment open and pulled my badge and gun out. I threw my door open and jumped out.

"Obi, no!" he screamed.

I took off like a bat out of hell, loading the gun as soon as I was close enough. "Freeze!" I shouted. He spun quickly and then took off. I shot him in the leg and guiltily took pleasure in watching him collapse onto the pavement. I wouldn't _kill_ him, but I would see to it that he suffered greatly for what he did to my fiancé.

"On what—agh!—charges?"

I glanced over my shoulder to see Anakin, fear written across his features. "Rape and torture," I growled. I put my gun in the holster and yanked him up roughly, pinning his arms behind his back. Not even two minutes after I'd gotten the man handcuffed and began interrogating him, I heard a screaming siren bearing down on my position. I sighed, knowing exactly who was in the cruiser _and_ who'd alerted him. It pulled over quickly, nearly bouncing up onto the curve. Good lord. What did Anakin tell him I was doing? The blue and red lights were flashing blindingly and Quin looked disapproving as I shoved the cuffed man towards him. "Anakin spotted him. This _monster_ ra—"

"_Skywalker?_" he hissed, spitting the name out like it was something _terrible._ "Oh, that little bitch is good at laying still," he announced. "He's so good to come all over and take until he bleeds and—" Before _I_ could do anything, Quinlan surged forward in a blur, grabbing the bastard's collared shirt, shoving him down on the hood of the cruiser.

"Don't you _dare_ speak of him like he's a fuck toy," Quin said darkly. This man loved Anakin as much as I do, albeit not the same kind of love, but love nonetheless. Anakin's like a little brother he never had and he loves being able to take care of somebody else even though he's terrible at taking care of himself. I was grateful for the relationship he and Anakin had. When I'd broken Anakin's heart last year, Quinlan had been there to pick up the pieces and help him through it. He kept Anakin sane and safe.

Something inside of me made me turn back towards my car, only to find Anakin sobbing in the front seat, hands covering his face, shoulders trembling. My heart broke and I wondered _why_ he was hurting after we'd just taken one of his captors into custody. Quinlan bashed the man's face into the cruiser and I refocused on him. "Quin, you got this?" He knew I was worried and he glanced over to see the state Anakin was in, nodding a moment later. I backed away as Quin opened the cruiser door and shoved the man inside, then I spun and ran back over to the Corsica. I pulled my door open and slid in quickly, hands flying to his back and shoulder. "Baby, I'm here," I whispered. "We got him." He fumbled to unbuckle himself and then he leaned over, practically throwing himself at me. I pulled him into my arms and held him tightly. "You're okay. It's all okay, Ani." I stroked his hair and let him soak my shirt.

I gave him as much time as he needed. Quin had taken off about ten minutes ago and Anakin finally straightened up, rubbing his eyes and wiping his face. "I got you all wet," he said quietly, sniffling.

I stroked his jaw and smiled sadly at him. "I love you enough to _let_ you get me wet." He gave me a half smile, leaning forward to kiss me gently. When he'd buckled up again, he sat in silence. The drive home was absolute silence and it concerned me. He hasn't been _this _quiet since getting his voice back. Even when I parked the car in our driveway, he didn't move. I sat still and watched him, waiting patiently for him to come back from wherever he'd gone just now. I think about five minutes passed before he blinked and pushed his door open. I mimicked his actions and heard him pull his keys out to unlock the door. His eagerness told me he had something he needed to say, something he needed to vent in order to feel at least a _little_ better. I ran to catch up to him, nearly crashing into his back when he stopped abruptly. I looked up at him and saw how tense his shoulders were now. "You get away from her!" he snarled, sounding so much like a feral beast. I shifted a bit to glance around him and saw _why_ he was so tense. Qui-Gon was having a meal with Shmi. That enraged me as well. He had the damn _nerve_ to come in here and spend time with Anakin's mother. "Get away from her!"

He would have run in and _forced _Qui-Gon aside, but he still wasn't feeling _physically_ recovered. His lack of sleep wasn't helping that. Shmi looked stunned and Qui-Gon slowly rose from his seat, his hands held up in front of him at chest level. "Peace, Anakin. We were talking about you." Oh, that bastard. That was _not_ the best thing to say to Anakin right now. He could tell because Anakin was seething, stalking forward as best he could without cringing at pains shooting up in his legs.

"Ani? My little Ani?" _Fuck._ He was about to find out about his mother's condition. This was the first time he's seen her in well over a year and the last he knew, she was in a coma.

"Mom." He sounded confused and like he'd calmed down a bit, which was both good and bad considering his explosion about _this _would kill _me._ "You…" He slowly turned to look down at me sadly. He _knew._ "…don't remember who I am." He looked so _hurt_ and it made me feel like a horrid person for keeping this from him. Since he'd come back, I'd tried to work through everything with him to get him to trust me again and I'd kept one of the most important pieces from him. His trust in me probably already diminished if his eyes were any indication of the pain he felt. He turned away from me, which made me visibly sag behind him. Once we were alone, he was going to burst into flames. "Qui-Gon, you are not welcome here."

"Your mother said—"

"I don't give a _fuck_ what my mother said! She's not in her right mind!" he screamed, his voice cracking. That only frustrated him more… "She doesn't _know_ what you did! She doesn't even know who you _are!_" He was breathing heavily. This wasn't good for him at all. In a quieter tone, he added, "I don't know who you are."

Qui-Gon lowered his hands and stepped forward. "Anakin, my son, can we not try to be a family?"

I wanted to palm my face so badly right now. Did he _not_ understand how Anakin worked yet? Anakin scoffed at him, crossing his arms over his chest. "Oh, so you want to play daddy with me so you can fuck my fiancé, right? Where were you for twenty-four _years_ of my life?" I flinched at the way he sounded. It hurt to hear him hurl insults at Qui-Gon, using a reference to me in the same sentence. "You don't even _deserve_ to be called my father. You're just the damn sperm donor in my mind."

"I won't pretend that you and I can have a father and son relationship like a normal family would, Anakin. I'm not that blind." His voice changed. This was obviously where Anakin got it from, since Shmi is so soft-spoken. "_You_ stole my lover from me, Anakin. You're obviously aware of the relationship I had with your _fiancé_," he sneered, "and I think it's foolish of you to continue _your_ relationship with him because of it."

Anakin looked taken aback by that. His entire posture crumbled then. "You have no right to call _me_ foolish for my decisions. _You_ made decisions that influenced me. You _let_ Xanatos rape me!" Shmi looked horrified by that. "You stood idle as I was fucked by your husband! I'm your _son_ and you let him do those things to me. You let him play with me like I deserved it, but _you_ are at fault for bringing me into this world, _Qui-Gon._" He was trembling and I moved forward, tentatively resting my hand on his back. I was surprised when he didn't shrug me off, but I welcomed it. "I love Obi-Wan. I would _never_ hurt him intentionally. I wouldn't fake my death to get away from my issues. If anything, you're the foolish one here."

Qui-Gon's eyebrows rose and then his entire face darkened. He flew forward and slapped Anakin. The sound of him _hitting_ Anakin made me burst into action. Anakin stumbled back, his hand flying up to his face in shock. I tackled Qui-Gon down to the floor and threw punches at his face, connecting _several_ times.

Shmi was behind me now, holding onto Anakin tightly. "Stop it!" she shrieked. "Please, stop!"

I stopped because I _knew_ I wasn't myself. This is what Qui-Gon wanted. He wanted to see how I _truly _felt about Anakin. By testing my reaction, he discovered that I actually did move on from him, that I am in love with Anakin. I backed up, standing as I moved, and turned towards Anakin and Shmi. Her face was buried in his chest and he was staring right at me. I knew he was grateful for what I'd done, but he was still harboring anger. Whether it was directed solely at me or at Qui-Gon, I didn't know. "Get out," I simply said, not looking at Qui-Gon. "And, please, don't come back. Anakin, Shmi, and I are fine without you."

I didn't watch him leave. I didn't even _care_ that he left. What I did do though, was engulf Shmi and Anakin in my arms tightly.

•◊•

I played with the hem of our blanket, trying to avert my eyes from Anakin as he came out of the bathroom. He smelled wonderful as he always did after a shower, but he'd taken longer than usual, which meant he was clearing his head for the conversation we were bound to have. He'd been so…_him_ after Qui-Gon left. I didn't see a scared, hurt man when he put his mother to bed a little while ago. I saw the Anakin I knew before he'd been taken from me for a year.

He paused at the end of the bed and I struggled to keep staring at the blanket. When I finally looked up, he was frowning. "Why didn't you tell me about mom?" he asked quietly.

I ran my fingers through my hair, sighing. "Anakin, I… I don't know. Baby, I wanted you to get better before…before the reality of your mother's condition became a factor." His face didn't change at all. I couldn't read him right now, so I had no idea how he felt, but I could only guess he had a lot of anger pent up inside of him. "I…didn't want to hurt you," I said, gripping the blanket tightly. "I know you love your mother, Ani, and I do, too. I've taken care of her since…" I immediately cut off that train of thought. "I took care of her because…"

He sat came around to his side of the bed and seated himself beside me, staring at me, his head cocked to the side slightly. "I know why," he whispered, "and that means a lot to me, to know my mom was taken care of."

"I could have done so much—"

He rested his hand on my knuckles. "Don't, okay? You did all that you could with what you were given." When had he become so wise? It was such a sudden change, but reminded me of the man he was. "I'm pissed off with you for not telling me sooner, but I understand why you kept it from me, Obi." I cringed a little at his initial admission. I didn't like when he was mad at me. "I love you and I wish I could have been here to tell you that all this time."

I slid my other hand on top of his, my heart pounding in my chest when he stared into my eyes. "If I could have brought you back, I would have."

"I'm part of my mom," he whispered. "You had a bit of me left here with you, Obi-Wan, and I know that you did all that you could. You kept me alive _through_ mom." He kissed my cheek and gently pulled his hand away from me, scooting off of the bed. I watched him as he considered something. When he looked back at me, he smiled. "Take your clothes off."

I gaped at him, but did as he commanded, getting up quickly to strip. "Anakin, sex isn't going to fix—"

"I don't want sex right now," he said, hushing me as I lowered myself back into a sitting position on the bed. He rolled his eyes and unwrapped the towel he'd wrapped around his waist. He flung it across the room, and then lifted the blanket, sliding underneath it. "Lie down." I did as he asked, throwing my arm out, which he laid himself on, resting his head on my chest. He breathed slowly, calmly. My hand came up to rest on his back, my thumb sliding over his warm skin. "Obi-Wan, I love you."

"I love you, too, Anakin."

He inhaled sharply when I pressed into one of his scars. I immediately withdrew my hand, horrified at what I'd done. "I'm fine," he said, his arm flying out to drape over my waist possessively. "Just relax." Instead of touching his skin, I decided to comb my fingers through his hair gently. We laid together like this for a while and I thought he'd gone to sleep. "Obi, I'm sorry for all that you went through while I was gone. I know it was hard on you."

I closed my eyes and rested my hand against his scalp. "It was hard just to be without you, Ani. You did nothing wrong. I'm sorry I failed you—that I'm _still_ failing you."

He was quiet for a long time after that. Maybe he didn't know how to respond to my _stupid_ self-pitying comment. "Obi-Wan." I made a small sound to let him know I was listening to him. "I…know it probably isn't the best time to ask, but…" I began stroking his hair again, hoping that would comfort him at least a _tiny_ bit. "Can I… Can I tell you what happened to me?"


	4. Chapter 4

**POV: Anakin Skywalker**

"Of course," he replied fiercely. "I've told you I'll always be here, Ani. You can _always_ talk to me." He was so warm inside and out. It made me feel good, knowing that he meant that every time he said it. I wasn't used to having someone as devoted to me as Obi-Wan is, and I would admit that it's a nice change. I like the idea of spending forever with someone especially if that someone is Obi-Wan. Before him, I'd planned on just hopping from guy to guy if things didn't work out. No commitment, no talks of the future. _Nothing._ I was perfectly content with sleeping around like I had been, even though I knew what kind of person I was for it. It didn't bother me then, but it does now. I hate the child I used to be and I was glad to have grown up since then. I could handle commitment and the promises of my future because _Obi-Wan_ is my other half and he's just as committed as I am. The idea of marriage was still a scary thought, but I was more than willing to go through with it all because I _know_ what I'm getting into here and I find my relationship with him entirely _worth it._

I threw my leg over his and curled up against him. "That means a lot to me." He kissed my hair and allowed silence to ease over us. It was always nice to just…not _need_ to talk all the time. We were perfectly content with laying here. I held his right side firmly, trying to think of ways to explain everything without telling him _too_ much of the horrifying details. "Well, you know I was raped…by two men simultaneously." Fiery warmth seared down my spine, his fingers glided over my skin, leaving flames in their wake. "Xanatos also abused me, but he tried to make me _think_ he loved me. He…_beat _me when I spat at him or responded in a way he didn't exactly find _flattering._" My voice echoed in my head painfully, hurling vicious words at Xanatos, who cursed at and hit me. I could see his cruel smile as though it was burned into my memory. "When I didn't give him the reaction he was looking for, he chose…_other_ methods of torture." My breath hitched at the unwanted memories of being held underwater, and being unable to breathe and swallow because he was trying to suffocate me, and the burning of my skin, which left scars on my thigh and bicep.

"Take your time," he said soothingly. That whisper brought me back to _my_ bed. With _Obi-Wan._ "I'm not going anywhere. I love you and I'll be right here when you—_if _you want to continue." I closed my eyes, trying to shove those memories down, to repress them like I had been all this time. I couldn't help myself if I kept doing this _to_ myself. Talking to Obi-Wan about everything would be a huge step. The psychologist Obi-Wan got for me _said_ talking to someone I trusted would help because it would make me feel safe and comfortable, both of which Obi-Wan provided. After managing to push the past away and bring myself back to where I was, feeling myself wrapped up in Obi-Wan's arms, pressed against him, breathing him in, I shuddered. "Are you okay?"

I pushed myself up a bit and he looked up at me, his brows drawn together concernedly. "I can tell you," I said confidently. "I_ want_ to tell you." I swallowed hard, then his hand slid up my arm, setting my nerves on fire again. It actually felt _good._ "Just…promise me you won't look at me like I'm filthy. I _feel_ disgusting, but—"

I was immediately flipped over, my breath sapped right out of me, and I came face to face with the man holding me above him. "I would _never_ look at you like that," he said sincerely. "Anakin, I love _you._ You're beautiful, which is the complete _opposite_ of filthy." I smiled at him while he stroked my back absentmindedly. "Nothing will change my love for you, Anakin. I assumed you were dead all this time and I still feel as strongly—if not stronger—about you as I did _before._" He kissed me sweetly. "Don't tell yourself that you're some disgusting thing because _I_ know you're not."

He stared at me and I felt ashamed. He was being absolutely honest with me and I couldn't bring myself to believe his words even though he's said them a thousand times. They never felt absolutely _true_ to me. "I feel like a _whore,_" I said brokenly, watching his lips part in a silent gasp. "The three of them fucked me on a daily basis until I bled, until I _cried._ I fought it at first, but that only made them beat me more." I was shivering on top of him, barely recognizing the worry in his eyes. "Obi, Xanatos was _making_ me fear him by trying to drown and suffocate me." He looked horrified, his hands stilling on my back entirely. "He did that a _lot_ and then he began to _burn_ me." His eyes flew to my bicep and I nodded. When his eyes flickered back up to mine, I continued. "He blindfolded me and kept me in the cellar where he'd shove me against a wall or the floor and…" I stopped right there, not willing to admit that to him even though I'd already said enough and he _knew_ what I wasn't saying. "He'd cut and whip me… _Anything_ to cause me pain. Eventually, I stopped screaming and pleading. I didn't speak or make sounds for God knows how long, but I trembled every time I heard the footsteps above me." Again, I stopped. I pushed myself off of him and sat back on my heels, straddling his legs. He sat up straighter, his eyes never leaving mine. "Then…a…a woman took advantage of me. I don't know who she was, but she _hurt_ me."

My heart was beating roughly against my chest. I felt afraid again, like I was going to be tortured. I heard the footsteps in the darkness and my breathing quickened in anticipation for the horror that was to come. Sucked into the darkness by the blindfold, I hadn't been able to see their faces. I could feel a knife cutting into my skin, cool blood seeping down numerous parts of my body simultaneously. Vaguely, I realized I was touching my skin now.

A feminine laugh echoed in my mind and my body associated that laugh with roughness. She used toys to hurt me or put a ring on me to keep me from coming while she rode me, her chilled fingertips plunging into my chest. I felt Xanatos smack my jaw and I remembered doing as he wished even without him having to say a word, sucking him off when he didn't want to put the effort into making me writhe beneath him. Granta and his friend never pitied me like Xanatos did. They abused me and made me bleed for their _entertainment._

I could remember freezing on the cellar floor. Xanatos rarely threw a blanket over me. I'd almost died from the blood loss and then, in the winter, hypothermia. I still couldn't grasp the reason as to _why_ I kept living, suffering in silence.

My breaths came out erratically and I was hyperventilating. I blearily looked around the room, vaguely recognizing it. Obi-Wan's hands came up to my face, his thumbs stroking my cheeks. _Obi-Wan._ "Baby, it's okay. You're safe now." My vision refocused on him until it finally cleared and I could make out every detail about him. "They aren't here," he said softly. "They can't hurt you." _But they could._

I shook my head and he looked hurt when I started convulsing in front of him. He moved us quickly, his hands grasping mine. "They're in my head. I can hear them." I realized how _insane_ I sounded, but I just kept going, unable to stop myself from speaking hurriedly. "They're here, _everywhere._"

I wrenched my hands out of his and clawed at my scalp, pulling at my hair as though _they_ were the strands. Obi-Wan took my hands and held them against his chest. I scratched him involuntarily and he just _let _me, even when I began to draw blood. "We'll get you through this, baby." He winced slightly. "They'll go away. I _promise._" I tried to rip his skin and I couldn't understand why. I knew it was him, but I couldn't control myself. Eventually, he couldn't let this go on any longer. He would _never_ hurt me even if I tried to kill him, so he did what he had to without making things worse. He gripped my wrists and shoved me back until I was lying on my back, my wrists pinned to the mattress on either side of my head. I stared up at him, finally seeing _him_ as his blood dripped onto my stomach. He was breathing heavily, his eyes watering. "This time, I _will_ keep you safe," he said firmly, and I actually trusted him. I couldn't doubt him.

After I calmed down, he released my wrists reluctantly. He waited for me to move and I didn't for the longest time. He was afraid to lie down and I couldn't blame him. He probably thought I'd try to maul him again. I pushed myself up and he flinched, which made me gasp in horror. The noise made his eyes widen. After several long moments, he _did_ lie down, waiting for me to crawl up to him to lay by his side. It took a while, but I finally did and I was stunned to see that he was still awake. He laid on his side, facing me as I lowered myself onto my right side to face him. I didn't know what to say to him; it was obvious he didn't know either.

I couldn't have been anymore sorry than I was in that moment. I'd hurt him and he wouldn't forget that. He would _hate_ me. He _should_ hate me. My eyes slid to a close a little while later, unable to stay open any longer. Instead of feeling him turn away from me, he sat up to press his lips against my forehead, and then he pulled the blanket over us. I shivered at the warmth, but welcomed it. The little gestures he made showed me that he didn't resent me. I felt so guilty about what I'd done, but I was eased considerably when he slid his arm beneath the blanket and draped it over my side. He slid closer until he was completely pressed against me, the crown of his head just below my jaw. I could feel his warm breath on my chest, taunting me and giving me the impression of him loathing me, yet I didn't move. I knew didn't need to because my mind was playing tricks on me. He'd put us in a position that was so…_us._ He…couldn't hate me if he _chose_ to sleep against me like _this._

•◊•

I fidgeted with the hem of the blanket as Obi-Wan got dressed for work. I'd propped myself up against the pillows and initially watched him dress until it was too hard to _look_ at the marks my nails had embedded into his chest. I knew he had to leave and I should have been relieved by that, knowing he'd be safer if he wasn't with me, but I truly didn't want him to go. I felt his eyes on me after he finished buttoning his shirt, so I looked up. The smile and look of adoration I was met with made me smile weakly in return. "I love you," he whispered unprecedentedly.

"I love you." I slowly rose from the bed, pulling my underwear and _his_ sleep pants on. He watched me patiently until I straightened and stared directly into his eyes. That link between us sparked and I quickly padded over to him. In return, he greeted me with open arms and I allowed him to envelope me with them, my own circling around him. "Be safe." He kissed my cheek, then nuzzled it with his own. I added, "I need you," in a hushed whisper.

The smile on his face was felt against my skin and he squeezed me gently. "I need you, too." The love in his voice took my breath away. We hugged each other tightly enough to _show_ that we didn't want to be apart, until we finally decided we needed to ease out of the embrace. He bumped his nose against mine, chuckling. "You'll be kept busy today, so do try to enjoy it." I gave him a puzzled look, to which he only _smiled,_ and then the doorbell rang. "Put a shirt on and then come into the living room, love." He rubbed my hips before ducking out of the bedroom, leaving me in my confusion. I _did_ pull a shirt—his _of course_—on, albeit a bit small, and went into the living room to see his back. When he heard me come into the room, he turned himself sideways and stepped back, grinning at me. My heart warmed considerably and I couldn't help grinning as well.

"Good morning, Ani." I didn't respond verbally, but I surged forward, pulling the smaller body into my arms. She giggled and returned the embrace. "Hi, Skyguy." Her voice was hoarse; she was _crying._

"Snips," I breathed. "God, it's been _too_ long." I pulled back, holding her at arm's length now, and looked at her. Tears glistened on her cheeks, so I lifted one hand and wiped them away gently. She looked so beautiful and so grown up now. A _year_ had changed her. Her hair was longer now, and she had a tattoo on her shoulder that I could see emerging from the sleeve of her shirt.

I turned to look at Obi-Wan who looked happier than he has been as of late, not that that's any fault of _his._ I mouthed a thank you to him when Ahsoka hugged me again. In response to my gratitude, his eyes flashed. He got a thrill out of seeing me like this. "All right, you two," he said, chuckling lightly, "I need to head to work. Ani, Victoriana is your mother's nurse. She'll be here within the hour. I've arranged for Ahsoka to drive you around a bit today." She backed up and grinned sheepishly at me when I gaped at her. "She's still learning, so you, as an _excellent_ and cautious driver, can probably teach her wonderfully."

I was stunned into silence. _Wow._ To cover my amazement, I messed with her hair, eliciting a groan from the younger girl. "Geez, kid. I remember when you were_ born._ Now you're driving." She giggled and flashed her teeth at me, smiling at me like I'd just acknowledged how proud of her I was—which I guess I had. I turned to Obi-Wan and threw my arms around his neck, pressing my lips to his jaw. He didn't need to do this for me, especially after last night. "Thank you," I whispered in his ear, nuzzling my face into his neck.

He kissed my shoulder, his hands resting on my hips. "I'd do anything to make you smile, baby." He squeezed me and we parted a few moments later, staring into each other's eyes silently. "I'll see you after work."

He stroked my cheek; I closed my eyes to lose myself in the warm feeling of his hand. "I love you," I said without giving it a thought.

"I love you, Anakin." He pecked my lips, resting his hands on my neck now. Once again, I found myself sharing an intense gaze with him. "I _love_ my _beautiful_ man."

"And I love my gorgeous, wonderful _fiancé._"

"Awe!" I jumped, startled, and we both glanced at Ahsoka. We got so lost in each other that we'd forgotten she was even _standing_ there. "You guys are just too damn cute."

I was blushing furiously now, so Obi-Wan laughed at me and kissed my cheek. "I've really got to go now, baby." He couldn't resist kissing me and I couldn't resist trying to kiss him longer. "I'll see you tonight." He took my hand in his, squeezing it. "Ahsoka, you're more than welcome to join us for dinner tonight as long as your mother approves. I'm planning on cooking for Anakin." He glanced sideways at me. "And I know he wouldn't mind it if you stayed with us a little longer."

I stood in the doorway and watched as he backed out of the driveway. My heart clenched tightly. This was the first time we'd been fully separated since I came back. He waved at me before driving off down the road. I'd managed to lift my hand and wave back just in time, fortunately. Ahsoka tugged on my arm, pulling me back. I shut the door and turned to face her, cocking an eyebrow in amusement. She was literally bouncing all over. "I wish I had that kind of energy."

"Ani, imagine being told the man you see as your brother is _alive_ after thinking he was dead for a year!" She giggled and threw herself at me, hugging me tightly. "I missed you so much."

I rested my chin on the crown of her head. "I missed you, too, little one."

We stayed in each other's arms for a few minutes. After those minutes passed, she'd regained a _ton_ of energy. She led me over to the couch and bounced eagerly on the cushion. I just watched her, smiling at her happiness. She simmered down after a _while_ though, and we just relaxed, sitting side by side, hand in hand. "How have you been?" she asked quietly, turning her head to look at me.

I closed my eyes and inhaled slowly, exhaling just as slowly. "I've...struggled to get back into the swing of things, but everything's been great lately." I opened my eyes and smiled weakly. "Obi-Wan's been great."

She stroked her thumb over my fingers gently. "Where were you all this time?" She pulled her hand out of mine slowly, turning her entire body to face me. I watched her hand lift and felt her fingers trace the scar bisecting my right eye. "What happened to you, Ani? Obi-Wan didn't tell me anything specific. All I know is that you were kidnapped and dead up until a few days ago when he called me."

I shivered and her hand flew back. "I... Snips..." My mouth felt as dry as a desert. If I had a hard time confessing to Obi-Wan, it would only be so much harder to talk to _her._ "I...can't talk about it." She looked upset, but nodded. The look on her face twisted a knife in my heart. I couldn't stand seeing anyone like that, especially Obi-Wan. He'd been hurt when I kept the details of my capture and torture from him, but he'd never once _demanded_ that I opened up to him. He'd just smile sadly and tell me he'd be right there when I needed him.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: There's a bit of a sex scene after the section break here.**

**POV: Obi-Wan Kenobi**

Anakin and Ahsoka spent a majority of the week together. It was nice to see him so eager to go out for once. Today, we took a trip to the mall and Anakin _somehow _managed to convince Quinlan to join us—much to my disdain, I teased. Truthfully, it was like having three _kids_ running around. The three of them ran from store to store crazily. I had one hell of a time trying to keep up with them and I eventually stopped trying. It wasn't hard to pinpoint stores Anakin and Quinlan respectively liked though.

The only thing that relatively calmed them was my promise to buy them lunch, so we sat in a small diner, eating French fries, hamburgers, hotdogs, and pizza. Anakin and I sat on the same side of the table, sharing his fries and my hotdogs. Needless to say, he made lunch a completely erotic experience… When I finished my hotdog, he leaned over a licked the corner of my mouth, sending shivers up my spine. He was in a particularly _horny_ mood today. I wasn't sure how long his ease with this would last today, but I wanted to make every second count. "Missed a spot," he murmured.

I chuckled, taking advantage of his closeness, and kissed him. It wasn't an overly obnoxious public display of affection. Neither of us truly cared about who saw us together. We just didn't _need_ to put our relationship on display. Our intimacy is private, and _meant_ only for us. "Guys, seriously, if you two don't settle down, you're going to end up excusing yourself to go fuck like bunnies in the bathroom." I glared heatedly at him, my face turning bright red. "You're cute together and the sexual tension is tangible. I don't _need_ to watch you guys have sex on the table, but by all means." He waved at the table in front of him as he leaned back in his chair.

Anakin chuckled uneasily and I could only sigh, leaning forward to hold my head. "We don't _fuck._" I glanced at Anakin and we shared a small smile. There were times when we didn't entirely _want_ to take things slow, but we made love far more often. He's my soul mate. I couldn't _not_ make _love_ with him.

"Oh, do tell," he remarked.

My eyes flew back to him and his annoying dreadlocks. However, the voice that responded was not my own. "Well, you see, he lays me down on my back and kisses me sweetly. Then, when we feel the time is right, he takes me lovingly and passionately. Oh, it's so hot and I _love_ it." If I could have burst into flames, I would have. My face was hot enough by this point.

I was staring at him like he was insane. _Why_ would he tell Quin that? And in front of _Ahsoka?_ We both knew the meaning behind his words. He meant to stun Quin with the idea that I liked dominating him, which he didn't think I was capable of. I knew I could dominate Anakin because he loves me enough to become my subordinate, but I would _never_ treat him as though he's beneath me. "Wow. _Obi-Wan_ screws _you?_ You don't screw _him?_"

Anakin smirked and I palmed my face in both hands. "Do you two realize we have young ears listening?" I muttered. I had the feeling that Ahsoka rolled her eyes by the way Anakin chuckled. In fact, I knew she found all of this entertaining and somehow _cute._ "Anakin _does_ take me. We're equals in this relationship." He kissed my shoulder and I turned my head slightly to peer over at him, finding his smile absolutely dazzling. Considering his issues with sex at the moment, this was really nice. Seeing _him_ like this was really nice. Yes, I could see he was tense, but he looked like he could bear the conversation and he actually smiled as he made comments about _our_ sex.

"What I have with Obi-Wan is unique," he said softly, his eyes never leaving mine, smile never faltering. "I've never had such a fair rel—"

"Anakin?" He froze, his eyes widening. "Little Ani Skywalker?" I turned to see a man who looked like he was Anakin's age, and perhaps he was. He had cropped, black hair and looked extremely muscular. For whatever reason, Anakin was uncomfortable and didn't feeling up to responding. When the man didn't get a response, he came closer, gripping Anakin's shoulders in what he must have thought as a _playful_ gesture. He even leaned to the right and buried his face in Anakin's neck, laughing lightly. _Anakin,_ however, didn't find this playful at all and I felt jealousy building up inside of me at the sight of another man even _remotely _getting close to my lover.

"Get off!" He shoved the man backwards and rose from his chair simultaneously. Now he just looked _angry._ From the corner of my eye, I saw Ahsoka rise from her own seat, slowly approaching Anakin, her hands out in front of her. She obviously knew who this was and was afraid of what would happen in this confrontation. I could tell just by Anakin's facial expression that this was something that emotionally upset him. If he doesn't fall to pieces and cry, he hides behind _anger, _even if it's real anger.

The man staggered slightly before righting himself. "Awe," he said. I knew he was taunting Anakin now. "Little Ani's all grown up now."

Anakin resisted the urge to lunge at him. It was taking a great deal of restraint on his part. "_What_ do you _want?_" he hissed.

"Just saying hello to an old friend. Is that so wrong?"

Ahsoka surged forward, grabbing Anakin's arm _just_ as he nearly ran forward. She pulled him back and I stared at him. His nostrils were flaring and there was a _deep_ hatred in his eyes. "You think I'm your _friend?_"

Ahsoka pulled him back as best she could. "Ani, relax."

The man looked stunned by how Anakin _did_ relax moderately. "Oh, shit. You're _straight_ now?"

Before Anakin could speak, I took the opportunity to interject, "Actually, I'm his fiancé." He turned towards me, cocking an eyebrow in disbelief.

How could he not believe Anakin and I were together? I reached out and took Anakin's right hand, squeezing it. "Wow. Full blown _daddy issues,_" he commented, sounding as though he'd expected this much from Anakin. "Never thought you'd be a gold digger though." If looks could kill, Anakin would have killed him, resurrected him, and killed him _again._ "You're in no way _hubby_ material, Ani. Laying still doesn't make you good in bed. Last I knew, you whined a _lot._"

An ex-boyfriend. That's who this was. Anakin went disconcertingly silent, his grip on my hand going slack. I looked up at him to meet glazed oceanic eyes that were filled with nothing but _pain._ I shoved my chair aside as I stood, my hands immediately going to his hips. No, no, no. This hasn't happened _all week._ He's been doing so well. _Damn it!_ "Sweetheart. Anakin." He didn't react at all for at least thirty seconds before he blinked and looked away from me and to the floor. "Baby, I'm here. Are you—?"

"I need to be alone." He hesitated, then cleared his throat. "Excuse me," he said tightly, tearing himself out of my grip. He was forcing himself to walk calmly towards the bathroom, but he snapped and broke into a run, pushing through the door roughly. I gaped after him, stunned and hurt by the fact that he _pushed me away._ He's never done that before. For him to run away from me, he had to be in a severe amount of pain.

"What's his prob—?"

"Don't you _dare,_" I said darkly, "speak _to_ or_ about_ him like he's some common whore. He's a different man now and has gone through things you can't even _begin_ to imagine." He looked stunned by my tone, but I've changed since Anakin returned as well. I used to be very protective of him and now I'm overwhelmingly protective of him. I can't stand to see someone looking at him as though he's done something wrong, nor can I bear to listen to them spew lies and painful things at him. Right now, I was glaring like Anakin would have if he hadn't been hurt so badly. "This Anakin is _my_ Anakin. He's _not_ who you remember him to be, so don't treat him as if he were."

His mouth was agape for several long moments before he spoke up. "Wow, you really are his fiancé then?"

I scoffed at him. "I should know. I _am _the one who proposed to him after all." He was about to say something else, but I really didn't want to waste more time out here while Anakin needed me—even if he denied needing me. I turned away abruptly and began stalking towards the bathroom. "I have more important things to do than talk to _you._" I broke into a sprint and pushed the door open effortlessly once I'd reached it. All of the stall doors were closed and it was _completely_ silent, save the quiet sniffling noises I heard. "Ani, it's me, baby."

"In here," he called out hoarsely. I walked down to the handicapped stall and tried to pull it open, only to find it locked. I gave him a moment to stand up and unlock it. When I pried it open, he'd backed away already, seating himself on the floor with his knees pulled up to his chest.

I lowered myself to sit beside him. "Are you okay?" In response, he shook his head, surprising me with his honesty. Normally, he'd try to hide behind a smile or anger or _something._ I wasn't used to him feeling so vulnerable and actually _admitting _it. "He said the same thing the man we arrested said." He nodded, his muscles tensing. "Anakin, darling, you _know_ that's not true. You're worth so much more than that. You know you're _not _just a quick fuck. You've never been that to me." I stroked his knee, smiling weakly at him. "You don't just lie there when you're with me. You're everything I've ever wanted in a lover, Anakin. Before sex even became a factor, you were perfect." I lifted his hand tentatively and kissed his knuckles. "You're wonderful, Ani."

"I don't feel _wonderful,_" he hissed, averting his eyes from me.

"Well, you are." I leaned against him, taking his hand and entwining our fingers. "I love you for all that you are, for everything that makes you who you _are._"

He sighed. I could feel that I was getting through to him. I just didn't know how long that would last before he doubted himself or my love for him again. His eyes returned to meet with mine and he looked so…_unsure._ "I love you, too." He said it sincerely, but there was something else. When I looked at him intently for long enough, he continued, sounding dejected. "Just…_why?_ Why do you love me?" he whispered. I gave him an incredulous look. We'd been over this a million times by now, so I didn't understand how he could possibly _ask_ that again. I opened my mouth to reply, but he muttered, "I was raped as a kid, so I've been emotionally fucked since I was a teenager. _Then_ I fucked and was fucked by men I felt _nothing_ for _and_ I was…then I was raped again." His eyes started watering again, melting my heart. "I see _no_ redeeming qualities in that whatsoever, Obi-Wan, and I feel that you deserve so much better than me."

He looked away from me again, biting his lip. I could do nothing but stare at him now. How could he _possibly_ think I based my love for him on _any_ of that? Nothing he will do or has done will _ever_ have an impact on the way I feel about him. He's not a cheater, so I had nothing to worry about. He stayed away from alcohol and drugs _and_ cigarettes. He smoked _one_ since coming back and he was repulsed by it, oddly enough. He's clean, sweet, loving, and_ perfect._

Throwing my left arm around him, I gently urged his head to the side until it rested on my shoulder. "Baby, you are my everything. I don't look at you and see some…some _sexual object._" I looked down at him, staring at his hair. "I look at you and see the sweetheart who made breakfast for me on my birthday last year and on every other day you thought was special. I see a very smart, strong, _beautiful _young man." He lifted a trembling hand to grip mine, pulling it until it draped over his shoulder so he could hold it against his chest. "And above all of that, I see the man I want to spend the rest of my life with."

Silence filled the small space for a while after that, but he'd tilted his head up to kiss me several times throughout the verbal pause. I know very well that he loves me with all of his heart and soul and he _should_ know by now that I feel the same way about him, and that I'm hopelessly in love with him. I've never felt this way about anybody, not Qui-Gon nor any other man I'd ever seen. "Do you mean it?" he asked unprecedentedly. He was looking into my eyes now, his own a dull shade of what was normally a sparkling blue. "What you said before?"

I leaned closer to him and kissed the corner of his mouth. "Of course I do. I wouldn't say it if I thought otherwise." Oh, my self-doubting sweetheart… How could someone as beautiful and wonderful as you have been hurt so badly in the past? Anakin doesn't deserve to live in his fears and doubts, wondering if and when I'll leave him because he thinks he's _disgusting._ "Do you trust me?"

He shifted, looking affronted by my question although it was an innocent one. "Now what kind of question is _that?_" he asked quietly, trying to hide his anger, his brows furrowed. "You know I do—with my _life._" He said it with fierce conviction and I could feel his devotion, his trust, his _love_. This man is wrapped around me as I am him.

"I will never lie to you when it comes to _us._ If I did that, I would risk losing you." I stroked his thigh gently. "I don't want to be without you," I said solemnly, wishing that he'd been by my side rather than presumed dead. "Not…not again," I added. Those beautiful blue eyes closed for a moment until the tears fell from them; I gaped at him for a split second before pulling him into a tight embrace. "I love you, Anakin. I lost you for a _year._ A year without seeing you, feeling your soft skin, hearing our pledges of love to one another… Anakin, I felt like I'd died with you that day."

"You can't get rid of me that easily," he teased, his voice tight as he tried to reign in the tears. He was breaking, his control over himself crumbling bit by bit. His breathing became erratic and he gripped my shirt as though I might disappear in the blink of an eye. "I can't be alone again," he murmured, sounding so…_young._ He closed his eyes again and the tension and anxiety was nearly tangible. "_Please_ don't leave me alone."

I kissed him, holding his lips to mine, and he calmed considerably. When we parted, I stroked his jaw. "You'll never have to be alone again." He nodded, wholeheartedly trusting my promise to him. I _would_ protect him for the rest of my life. This man deserves unconditional, undying love and I _will_ give him that. Even if his love for me ends one day, I will still love him as much as I do now.

He nuzzled his face into my neck, kissing my skin. "You're the only person I need. I love you so much." He knows I love him _beyond_ words. I told him as much and he shifted until he was straddling my thighs. I kept my eyes locked on his as he leaned forward, curling against me to embrace me tightly. I pressed my cheek against his shoulder, smiling, my hands lazily roaming over his back. "Thank you for coming in after me, Obi. That… That means a lot to me."

"_You_ mean a lot to me," I murmured. He laughed lightly, resting his hands on my upper back, massaging my shoulder blades. He didn't laugh because my admission embarrassed him. He laughed because he couldn't believe he actually meant so much to someone else. He would soon overcome that though.

•◊•

His mouth was wet and hot against mine and his body felt like he was on fire. He groaned into my mouth as he impaled himself on me. The pace he moved at was so excruciatingly _slow,_ but we _needed_ this. We needed this kind of intimacy right now.

We'd come home and I started dinner. Quin and Ahsoka were still here actually and I got a perverse thrill out of making love to Anakin with our friends so close by. The door was locked, of course, but that wouldn't deter Quinlan in the slightest. It never has.

Anakin broke the kiss, releasing a quiet, ecstatic moan. His moaning would make what we were doing unmistakable if someone were to eavesdrop on us, assuming they hadn't already. For once, he _tried_ to stay quiet, not that I _wanted_ him to. He'd had enough of silent fucking with those monsters. I wanted him to be as loud and obscene with me as _he_ wanted to be. That's how it used to be. He used to say such dirty things in bed. Now it's like pulling teeth to get him to make _one_ dirty comment. I couldn't blame him for that, but I truly missed it. Those dirty words made me love him all the more and I truly wanted to hear them from him again. "I'm—I'm c-coming." He gasped, his head snapping back, baring his throat to me. "I-I-I'm c-com-_coming._" I decided to encourage him and gripped his hard length, stroking him until he orgasmed. He panted heavily until his mouth crashed against mine and he cried out, the sound getting lost in my mouth. His seed spilled over my hand and clung to my chest.

When he pulled away, I saw how blissful he was through the glossy look in his eyes. "You're so beautiful," I said softly. He grinned, leaning back slowly, tugging me along with him. I still had yet to come, but he needed a moment to recover and I was more than willing to wait. There was absolutely no reason to rush through this. Watching his chest rise and fall erratically made me love him _more._ He's deeply affected by sex with me and I was grateful for that. Despite our age difference, our personality differences, our _personal_ differences… Despite all of that, he is as perfect as a lover can be when they're absolutely in love with someone—the someone in this instance being _me._

I hovered above him, planting sloppy kisses over his throat, sucking on his Adam's apple. "Move," he whispered. "I know you're close." I slowly moved against him, keeping my mouth on his body. His back arched off of the bed and he groaned out a request that I fuck him harder. As much as I wanted to take this slow, I _really_ wanted to come. I was so hard to the point where it was getting unbearably painful. I complied with his command, straightening up, pulling his legs up to rest against my sides. I thrust into him as he'd asked me to and the noises he was making were enough to throw me over the edge.

I came _hard_ and thrust into him slowly for a few moments afterwards. Both of us panted wordlessly, staring at each other. I laid his legs back down on the bed and leaned over him, resting my hands beside his head. He swallowed hard, lifting his hands to stroke me from my sternum down to my pelvic bone. I pressed my lips against his, giving him an open-mouthed kiss, which he _immediately_ reciprocated, his tongue plunging into my mouth.

I took that opportunity to gently slide out of him. He still made a sound that always meant he didn't want me out of him. I slid my hands closer to his head and played with his hair, tugging playfully on the strands. He broke away to gasp for breath, smiling up at me. "I _love_ you." His eyes bore into mine and I just watched his smile widen, which warmed my heart in turn.

"I love you, too," he said breathlessly. I laid down beside him, staring up at him as I caressed his cheek, neck, chest, and stomach. "Obi, you're amazing." He paused momentarily before adding, "And I'm not _only_ talking about in bed either." He stroked my beard, his eyes never leaving mine.

"It's only because I'm so in love—"

Pounding on the door made us jump and I immediately reached for a blanket, pulling it over us. "Obi, I think your _creation_ is burning!"

I was confused for a moment. How could the food have _burned?_ It only took ten minutes to cook and Anakin and I were only in here for—_oh._ _Oh, shit._ I could smell the lingering sex in the air as well as the undercurrent of burnt rice. "_Shit!_" I wobbled after lurching out of the bed, pulling my clothing on quickly. Anakin did the same. I didn't even pay attention to his state of dress as I unlocked the door and threw it open, racing into the kitchen. I grabbed the oven mitts and moved the pot off of the burner, shutting the heat off a second later. "Fuck." There was a lot of smoke in the kitchen now. We all started coughing. I hadn't realized Anakin had followed me until I saw him open the back door to let some of it outside. I crossed the kitchen, turning the faucet in the sink on. I put the pot underneath the water and sighed.

When I glanced over my shoulder to look at Anakin, I found Quin staring back and forth between me and Anakin. That _bastard._ "Oh, my God!" he exclaimed, startling Anakin. I palmed my face immediately, _praying_ that he'd know he needed to shut the hell up. "You sneaky bastards!"

And at that exact moment, Ahsoka, Shmi, and Victoriana decided to walk in. "Quinlan—" He _really_ needed to be quiet. Anakin wouldn't be able to handle Quin exploiting our sex life right now and these three women _really_ didn't need to hear about it either.

"Man, you guys are so _slick._" He burst into laughter at his own _terrible_ pun. I glanced in Anakin's direction and found him as red as a tomato, if not _redder._ Had had not been tormented for a year with sex, I'm sure he would have made some smartass remark. Now that I was out of panic mode and _in_ angry mode, I saw how disheveled Anakin really was. His hair was a mess, shirt wrinkled, and his pants hung dangerously _low_ on his hips.

He propped the door open with a chair and moved away, which instantly broke my heart and made me want to _kill_ Quinlan in the most painful way _possible._ "Ani—"

"Makes things go a lot _smoother._" I held my breath. I truly hadn't been expecting him to smirk _or_ comment on that. Even _Quin_ was shocked. He now realized that he'd fucked up and I'm sure he was aware of the conversation I _wanted_ to have with him. I needed to _talk_ to him about Anakin's sensitivity. Anakin glanced at me sideways, looking as though he needed some kind of reassurance. It wasn't easy for him and I knew that. He was standing on the edge of a cliff, prepared to jump or walk away from the edge at any moment. It was scary to think that he might choose to jump over the edge. I forced a gentle smile, hoping he'd be all right; he returned my smile. "After all," he drawled, "easy entry makes things a lot more…_desirable._" And _now_ he was struggling to stay composed. He _thought_ he was okay when he really wasn't. We both knew he wasn't all right. In fact, he had a _long_ way to go before he could go back to being who he was before he was kidnapped. "I…uh, I'm going to take a shower."

He hesitated, unsure of himself, and waited to see if I'd let him go. He didn't need my permission, but he knew I'd worry about him if he just suddenly left. "All right, sweetheart," I conceded, knowing he just needed some time to himself without his worrisome fiancé or said fiancé's annoying ass of a friend. And with a nod, he was gone. I stepped closer to Quin and smacked the back of his head. "What the _hell_ were you thinking?" I hissed. He didn't fully understand why mentions of sex bothered Anakin and it wasn't my place to tell him.

"I'm sorry!" he exclaimed, looking genuinely sorry for once. "I didn't mean to hurt him, Obi. You know I love him. I'd _never_ try to hurt him."

I sighed, shaking my head. I know he cares about Anakin as much as he cares about me, so I couldn't really bitch at him. If he knew what happened to Anakin, he wouldn't have said a word. "Can you _try_ to think with your _brain_ next time?" He nodded solemnly. "I know you didn't mean to upset him, Quin. He's just—"

"He… He, uh, told me a…_little._" I gave him a bewildered look. "Enough for me to understand _why_ anyway."

I definitely hadn't expected to hear _that._ I didn't think Anakin had opened up to anybody before me and I actually thought I was the first one he'd opened up to. He couldn't have told Quin _after _me. "When were you two able to talk about this alone?"

He looked a bit nervous now. "He…called me one night and asked if he could talk. He sounded scared, Obi, so I rushed over. I figured talking in person would help him more than talking through the phone." He definitely just admitted that Anakin told _him_ before _me._ "He didn't go into detail, I swear. He kept saying he felt sick." He frowned then, probably recalling the night Anakin spoke to him, or at least tried to. What bothered me was that Anakin went to Quin before he came to me. Even though I knew Anakin wouldn't purposely go behind my back, it still hurt. Was he _that_ afraid of talking to me now? I mean, it was understandable, but… "He said he was forced. That's all he told me. I don't think he even realized he said it aloud. Obi-Wan, he told me he was afraid of _you_ finding out about what happened." I raised an eyebrow as he rubbed his arm. There was a strange bruise there that I hadn't seen before. "I told him that he needed to talk to you and he started crying and getting angry…" Oh, so Anakin fought him, in other words. How the hell had I not heard any of this going on? "He kept saying you wouldn't look at him the same ever again if he told you."

Oh, my sweet Anakin… My poor baby. It _hurt_ to hear those thoughts said aloud. I love Anakin to _death._ Nothing could _ever_ change that and I hoped he'd learned that _now_ since we'd talked about it. "Quin, can you do _something_ out here for dinner? I…I want to go see him." He nodded and I gave him my thanks before making my way towards the bathroom. I debated on knocking, but I'm sure the water would drown out the knock anyway. Without even bothering to knock, I went in. I closed the door quietly and briskly walked over to the shower. Steam rose up from it, giving me luscious images of steam rising off of _him._ His body was slightly visible through the glass, and it would be even _more_ visible once I got in there.

Sliding the door aside, I jumped in behind him, fully clothed. "What the fu—" He turned around and cut off abruptly, the look of horror on his face subsiding. "Jesus, you scared me." I kissed his jaw, circling my arms around his waist. He was utterly confused, sliding his own arms around me. "Are _you_ okay, love?"

"I just want you to know how much I love you," I whispered, staring into his eyes.

He laughed quietly, giving me a small smirk. "You could have done that without soaking your clothes, you know." He sighed. "And probably without scaring the hell out of me, too."

"I couldn't wait long enough to undress myself, and I hadn't intended on scaring you, lover." This man should know I love him unconditionally. Getting my clothes wet was worth it if I could make him smile and kiss him all over.

"What's going on?" he asked suspiciously.

I slid my hands up his back, rubbing each scar gently. I rubbed my cheek against his chest, too. "Nothing, baby," I whispered. "I'm just thinking about you." I closed my eyes, just _feeling_ him against me, knowing he was here and that he would _never_ find anyone who loves him as much as I do. "I love you, Anakin."

He gently pushed me back. I opened my eyes, giving him a confused look until he pressed his lips against my forehead. "I love you, too." We held each other for a while, foreheads pressed together, hands clasped. I was perfectly content with waiting for him to make another move. Fortunately, he did rather quickly. His warm lips met mine and I tilted my head, giving him a better angle, and ran my hands up and down his arms. After a few moments, he pulled away reluctantly, but he was smiling. "I'm done in here, so what do you say to the idea of me grabbing you some dry clothes?"

I grinned up at him. "I would say I'd appreciate that very much, sweetheart."

**A/N: I meant to have this up about a **_**week **_**ago because I've just been writing and writing for this story, but the past few weeks have been filled with final exams and projects. Fortunately, I made it through all of that and I'm done! I'm set to graduate in a couple of days and I'm so excited! That means I'll have lots of time to write! Until college starts up, that is. lol, hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Thank you for reading regardless of whether you're reviewing or not! It means a lot to me.**


	6. Chapter 6

**POV: Anakin Skywalker**

I nuzzled my face against Obi-Wan's chest, watching the light of the television dance across his skin. Ahsoka and Quin decided to spend the night with us, so Ahsoka was passed out on the other couch. She'd passed out a while ago, probably out of boredom when Obi-Wan and I started quoting lines back and forth. We were watching a version of _Romeo and Juliet_ that was made almost eighty years ago, but it was one Obi-Wan enjoyed and I hadn't seen it before tonight. During all of this, Quin said we were being too gay for him, so he went to sleep in my and Obi-Wan's room.

My legs were pulled up on the couch and Obi-Wan's arm was placed beneath my arm, his hand resting on my chest. "Should we get to bed?" he asked suddenly, his eyes still glued to the television for a moment. When he looked down at me, he continued. "I know you're comfortable, but _I_ would prefer our bed. You can lay exactly like this when we get in there, love."

"We're probably going to have to if Quin's spending the night in our bed." He sighed heavily, rubbing my skin with his thumb. "Hey, we were going to cuddle regardless." A week ago, I would've been terrified by the thought of sharing our bed with someone else even if it was Quin, but I was _really_ trying to get over the whole _sex_ issue. It wasn't Obi-Wan or Quin's fault. They're my fiancé and friend respectfully. I _had_ to be comfortable around them both. After all, _they_ hadn't been the ones to rape me. They're the only people I've been _extremely_ close with since I was brought back.

"If you _insist,_" he said with a mockery of a groan. I smacked his leg at that. "What?" He burst into laughter, lifting his arm from beneath mine so he could stroke my hair.

"You're as much of a cuddler as I am, so _shut up._"

He snickered, messing my already messy hair up further. "All right, all right. You've got me there. Now get up, lover." I straightened up, cracking my neck, and then I stood up from the couch. I turned to pull the blanket off of our couch so I could drape it over Ahsoka, and Obi-Wan _smacked_ my ass, chuckling quietly.

I cocked an eyebrow at him, smirking. "Looking to be kinky tonight, are we?" I asked huskily.

He gaped at me, which I nearly laughed at. Silly Obi-Wan. "Don't you think having sex with another person in our bed is a bit _inappropriate?_"

"Hey, you started it," I said, poking his chest accusingly, smiling. He laughed a bit at the pouty edge in my voice. "_And_ who said we're going to have sex with Quinlan?"

I smirked wider when he flushed furiously. "_Anakin,_" he said sternly, "you _know_ what I meant." Of course I did. I just wanted to see his reaction to my words and I'd gotten my reward. "_Smartass,_" he muttered.

"Better than a dumbass," I replied, shrugging.

He cocked an eyebrow. "_Quin_ is the dumbass." He stood pressing his hands flat against my chest. "You're _my_ smartass," he said, hands sliding up to and over my shoulders. "And I love you."

"I love you and your ass."

He rolled his eyes. "I think _that_ is obvious," he said teasingly.

As a testament to my statement, I grabbed his ass and squeezed it gently. "Feels nice," I commented. "I like feeling it inside _and_ out. It makes you _mine._"

Again, he rolled his eyes. "You're an ass."

I kissed him, grinning cheerfully at him when I pulled away. "I know, but you love me anyway." Ahsoka shifted on the couch behind me, subconsciously searching for a blanket. Obi-Wan slid his fingers through my hair, which I decided I'd let grow out. "Let me cover her up and then we'll get into bed."

He nodded, kissing my jaw. "I'll go shove Quinlan aside so we can cuddle comfortably like we always do." We kissed again for a second before splitting up to do what we said we'd do. I grabbed the blue blanket from our couch and laid it over Ahsoka.

When I leaned closer to tuck it in around her, her hand flew out to grip mine, her eyes opening slightly. "Ani?" she asked sleepily, not entirely sure if I was there or not.

"It's me," I said softly.

She smiled and pulled my hand to her lips, kissing my knuckles. "I love you." She sighed in contentment, her grip slackening as her eyes fully closed once again.

Smiling, I squeezed her hand gently, resting it back down on the couch. "I love you, too, Snips." I pressed the blanket around her like I remember doing when we had sleepovers as kids. Hell, even when I used to babysit her. I kissed her forehead before straightening up to head into my bedroom. When I got in there, Quin was lying on my side of the bed and Obi-Wan had his back pressed up against Quin's, leaving enough room for me to lay in front of him. Eagerly, I padded over to the bed.

"Hey, baby," he said quietly when I slid onto the bed, pressing myself up against him tightly, chest to chest.

"Hey, lover." He kissed me lovingly, pulling the blanket up over us and slipping his arms around me.

The way he smiled at me made my heart _pound._ This is what I love most about our relationship. We don't need the physical aspect of it since we were perfectly content with lying here together like this. "How are you holding up, my love?" His warm hands slid around my skin soothingly and I kissed him for a second.

I debated on telling him I was doing better because I wasn't sure if that was the truth or just another lie. I don't know if I'm getting better, honestly. There are days when I _think_ I'm doing really well, but then there are others where I completely snap and lose control. It's _those_ days that I loathe with all of my being. "I'm…" I trailed off, looking at his mouth silently. I started fidgeting with the blanket nervously. I didn't know what to tell him. I don't want to lie to him, but I don't want to tell him if I'm _really_ not doing well.

His hands came between us and clutched mine gently, stilling their frantic rubbing motions on the fabric. "Sweetheart, it's okay," he said quietly. Pulling my hands closer to his mouth, he pressed gentle kisses across my palms. "Even if you're never completely recovered from what happened, you know I'm not going to leave you, right?" I kept quiet. I _knew_ he wouldn't, but— "Hey, look at me, love." I did as he asked and he gave me a small smile in return. "If our positions were reversed," he started off quietly, "would _you_ think about leaving _me?_"

I gaped at him for a split second before realizing what he was getting at. "Never." I most certainly would _not_ even consider leaving him if he went through all of the things I'd gone through. I suppose when he puts it _that_ way, I can understand why he's still here. I love him so much and I don't think I could even bear the thought of living without him or leaving him alone to deal with his problems. If he were _me,_ he'd kill himself without someone to love him.

"Then please don't doubt me when I say I'm never leaving you, Anakin," he whispered. "For every moment that you feel unloved, I will _show_ you how much I love you." He pushed himself up a bit so that he was resting on his elbow, looking down at me. "For every moment that you feel you're worthless, I will show you how much I _treasure _you." He slid his hand across my chest, thinking to himself for a moment. "I will always show you just how much you mean to me, Anakin, and how desperate I am to live a life where _you_ are at my side." My eyes started watering involuntarily. Obi-Wan is such a sweetheart. Without me even _saying_ my faith in him staying with me was wavering because of my own self-doubt, he poured his heart out to me. It was such simple things like _this_ that made me love him more. "Oh, sweetheart of mine, don't cr—"

I pushed myself up and crashed against him, hugging him tightly. "Thank you so much," I said quietly. "Thank you for being the man of my dreams." He laughed quiet enough that I thought I hadn't even heard him to begin with. He slid his arms around me, rubbing my back. I breathed in his sweet scent and closed my eyes. Time stopped and I felt like we had eternity to spend together. Nothing would ever separate us again. Death wasn't possible, so we _did_ have eternity. I could see myself standing beside him, hands and _souls_ entwined, for a _very_ long time. "Just…thank you," I breathed, my voice barely above a whisper.

My tears wet his skin, but I _knew _he didn't care. "Oh, lover, I just want to make you happy." He squeezed me. "You're all that I've ever wanted and more, Ani, and I'm more than happy to share the happiness _you_ have given me _with_ you."

It was silent for a few seconds and we just enjoyed the closeness of our embrace. Slow tears slid down my cheeks and onto his skin, but it felt _good._ "God, are you two still awake? It's too damn _late_ for this, guys." We both jumped, startled by the deep, sleepy voice behind Obi-Wan. "I went to bed because you were being so gay and you brought that _to_ bed. There's no peace with you two."

Obi-Wan elbowed Quin in the ribs, earning a loud and sharp gasp. "Hey, you chose to sleep in _our_ bed. We talk here."

"Couldn't you respect me enough to talk out in the living room before coming to bed?" he whined.

"Oh," Obi-Wan scoffed. "Respect _you?_ Quinlan, we have a guest room and you chose to sleep with _us._ I think the respect is more so for _us._ We talk in bed—amongst other things."

"Can you talk in the _morning?_" I had the feeling that Obi-Wan was just about ready to snap on his best friend, so I kissed his jaw and waited until his eyes met mine in a questionable _glare._

I gave him a weak smile, rubbing his stomach. "Let's get some sleep, Obi." I lay down and I was surprised by how quickly he followed. He stared at me with so much love in his eyes as he lay silently in front of me. "I love you," I whispered.

"I—"

"He loves you, too. _Good night._"

Obi-Wan's agitation was tangible, but he let it go. I cuddled closer to him, trying my damnedest to take his mind off of his annoying friend. For the most part, it worked. He relaxed against me, stroking tiny shapes into my hip until I dozed off.

•◊•

"Bullshit."

Ahsoka cringed as she reached out to grab the _large_ stack of cards in the middle of the two of us. "You suck," she muttered, lifting them all up in her small hands.

We both woke up before Quin and Obi-Wan, so we decided we'd just play some card games. So far, I'd beat her at every single one, much to her disdain. "Hey, I just know that you're a terrible liar," I teased.

"Your turn, jerk. We're on jacks."

We kept going back and forth. She called me out on '_bullshit_' a few times, but that was only because she had four of several cards. I was down to my last card with a full stack of cards in front of me. She cocked an eyebrow at me, smirking. I had a seven and I had to put a four down. I _knew_ she didn't have all of the fours in her hand right now. After all, I'd put two in earlier, which she'd picked up. She wouldn't know if the _one_ four was in the pile in front of me or in my hand, so the chances of me winning were good. "One four," I said, sliding my card onto the top of the pile facedown.

I really hoped I'd been able to pass that off and _win._ However, she grinned, an _evil_ glint in her eyes. "Bullshit."

I sighed and pulled all of the cards to me. "God damn it."

She surprised me by putting her cards down on the table and leaning forward. "Ani, can we talk?" I gave her a curious look and put my own cards down. I gave her my full attention, waiting patiently. She looked…_afraid._

I reached out and took her hands in mine. "What's on your mind, kiddo?" She bowed her head and that's when I knew something was seriously wrong. If she couldn't look at me, then this was _bad._ I stood up from my seat and moved to kneel beside her, her hands still in mine. "What's wrong, Soka?"

She glanced up a little and I saw tears in her eyes. "Ani, I have something I need to tell you that I haven't told _anyone._"

"I'm listening, little one," I said quietly, hoping I wasn't scaring her _more._

She bit her lip and gripped my hands tightly. "Anakin, I…_screwed up._" I was confused by that. I think she realized that, too. "I…I…" She started trembling then. I reached up and brushed her hair back with one hand, sliding my hand down the side of her face until I could cup her cheek. I gave her a small smile in hopes of her calming down a little. "Anakin, I'm pregnant." My eyes widened and _something_ in me snapped.

"Who?"

"What?" she asked, stunned.

"Who's the father?"

I knew a lot of the people she was around. If I knew this guy and _knew_ he had a bad reputation of any sort, that bastard was going to _die._ "It's, um…" She bit her lip again. "It's Bon—"

I stood up quickly, my head _rushing_ from the movement. "You're having _Bonteri's_ baby?" I asked incredulously. Her eyes started watering, but I was furious. Not at _her, _but at _him_ for taking advantage of her feelings for him. "Ahsoka, he's a _player._ He's the kind of guy who doesn't _deserve_ a girl like _you._" I could completely understand how she felt though. I'd gone after guys who didn't deserve me because I didn't think I could do better. The difference between us was that _I_ couldn't get pregnant for my stupid mistakes. He'd broken her heart repeatedly and I hated him without ever really _meeting_ him. He'd asked her out to dances throughout the last several years, which she gladly accepted, but he always wanted more than she was willing to offer. That made her uncomfortable and I'd had to leave work to pick her up a few times in the past, arriving to find her crying.

It wasn't so much the fact that she was crying that hurt me. The fact that someone felt like they could get away with hurting _her_ hurt me. "Ani, I'm so sorry. I know I'm an idiot," she said, her voice heavy with tears. "I—"

She stood up, her hands flying up to rest on my chest as she attempted to babble on about how sorry she was. I didn't even understand why she was apologizing to me. "Honey, calm down. Stop crying," I whispered, holding her hands against my chest where she'd placed them. She was a few seconds away from hyperventilating, but she was _trying_ to calm herself. Having me go off the way I did wasn't exactly helpful and she didn't need _me_ turning against her. "Calm down," I repeated.

She still cried a bit and shook with gasping sobs, but she was calming down. "A-Ani—"

"Ahsoka, it's okay." She shook her head, swallowing hard, eyes shutting tightly. Suddenly, I understood how Obi-Wan felt when _I _was hurting, when he had to help _me_ calm down. Watching her tremble and sob was killing me inside. She really needed my support the way I needed Obi-Wan when he was with me. "I'm…I'm going to assume you haven't told him yet."

She opened her eyes and looked up at me. "I tried to, but he told me to go away. He called me a dirty slut." My heart clenched at hearing _those_ words. They were all too familiar to me, but _never_ did I think I'd hear them said about _her._ "I think he knows, Ani. I know he won't help me. I'm alone. I-I can't do this alone."

She started gasping for air and I pulled her against me, stroking her hair. "Sweetie, you're not alone," I whispered, kissing the crown of her head as she clutched my shirt tightly. "I'm here. I'll…take care of you." God, I would be the _worst_ support ever.

She was quiet for a few minutes, but she hugged me. "I don't know what to do," she mumbled against my chest.

"I know," I whispered. I stared at the doorway where Obi-Wan stood silently, his heart broken on his face. He'd overheard everything, unbeknownst to Ahsoka, fortunately. "I'll help you through this, Soka. I…won't be the best at it, but I'll try." She moaned into my chest and I sighed. "I love you, little one, and I'm really sorry."

She pulled back to look up at me. "Why are _you_ sorry? You're not the idiot who—"

"I've done stupid things, Ahsoka. I'm not _perfect._" She had this illusion that I _am_ perfect for some reason. "I've made mistakes about guys I fell in love with. I fell in love for all the wrong reasons." I glanced over her head to meet Obi-Wan's eyes again for a second. _Until I met you,_ was my silent thought. "Bonteri's not the guy for you, Soka. He's not going to help you at all and I'm sorry for that, but you've got me."

I lifted my hand to stroke her cheek, thumbing away her tears. "Thanks, Ani. That means a lot to me." Obi-Wan was smiling at me when I pulled Ahsoka into another hug. I smiled back at him, knowing _why_ he smiled. He loved me when I _showed_ I cared and loved deeply. We both know we love each other unconditionally and _so much,_ but it was completely different when we watch the other show someone else those same things. He's helped me so much since he came into my life and I needed to make up for that _somehow._

Ahsoka and I sat on the couch for a little while. She curled up on my lap, her head in the crook of my elbow. Her eyes were closed and I couldn't help but frown a little. She's only…eighteen. She's still a kid in my mind and now she's going to be having her _own_ kid. Gentle fingers combed through my hair and I glanced over my shoulder, nuzzling into those fingers. "You did something amazing," he whispered. He bent over the back of the couch and kissed my neck. "I love you, Anakin. You're a good man. You're my sweetheart."

I grinned, blushing a bit at his words. "I love you, Obi." I…know I'm a good person, even if I try to deny it sometimes. I love Ahsoka as much as I love Obi-Wan. I grew up with this kid. She's the little sister I never had. I learned how to be the protective older brother just by being with her. We'd gone to school together for a couple years before I left for high school and I'd stuck up for her at every turn, making _damn sure_ no one messed with my little sister.

He came around to sit beside me on the couch. I glanced at him and he leaned against me. "You'd make a good father," he whispered. My eyes widened a little at that comment. We hadn't discussed children for a…_long_ time. "Once you're ready, we can look into adopting our own baby. Well, if _you_ still want to."

"Ugh, son of a bitch." I sighed. Of course Quinlan would come out _now_ and ruin the moment. Typical bastard, choosing his timing _perfectly._ "Did you kick me in the ass or something? I'm sore." I smirked at Obi-Wan, knowing full well that he had something to do with that.

Obi-Wan kissed my shoulder, his hand coming up to rub my chest. "Some things never change," he whispered. He looked up at me. "But…other things _can_ if effort is given." I knew what he was getting at and it warmed my heart to hear him _say_ it. "When you're prepared to see this through, I'll be right there beside you, love."

I knew he would be. _He_ wanted kids when he was in his twenties. It wasn't too late to adopt a little one. Well, not for me… He obviously doesn't think it's too late since he's offering to go through with this. "I still need some time," I whispered, "but I _want_ this. I want to be a parent with _you._"

Tracing the muscles of my abdomen, he smiled softly. "We'll be parents," he said quietly. "I promise. There's no rush, lover." Indeed there wasn't. "We've got the rest of our lives to spend together and I'm willing to wait as long as it takes for _you_ to enjoy these precious moments with me."

That was something to look forward to, something to _work_ towards. If I could get myself under _some_ control, we could start a family together and _be happy._ The thought of living happily with him and a baby made me _want_ this all the more. I _will_ strive to overcome my problems and be the man I was before I was kidnapped. We _will_ have a family together one way or another at some point.

**A/N: I just graduated a few hours ago and I was so thrilled by it that I actually got to writing more than half of this chapter. Good moods help me write faster! Hoping to have more up soon! **_**And**_** I seriously need to get back into some lightsaber action with these two, so I'll **_**try**_** to work on **_**Indulgence**_** or start **_**The Game.**_


	7. Chapter 7

**POV: Obi-Wan Kenobi**

Today was probably going to go down in history as the most _aggravating_ day of my life. The morning started off bad and the remainder of the day has just snowballed from that. I caught Anakin smoking on the back deck, which started an argument right off the bat. He said he needed it and I repeatedly told him that he was doing _so _well without it, so I didn't understand _why_ he needed it. All of this resulted in _him_ locking himself in our bedroom, and then I had to leave for work. I'd said goodbye to him before leaving, but got no reply. This afternoon, Quinlan decided that pranking me would be _hilarious._ I had several reports that needed to be filled by the end of the day, so I'd come back from lunch to work on them. Needless to say, Quinlan took a screenshot of the desktop, removed _everything_ from it, and made that screenshot the wallpaper. He fixed it after I stormed out, but it still irritated me nonetheless.

_Now_ Qui-Gon is here and bugging the hell out of me. "How's Anakin been?" he asked quietly for what may have been the fifth time today _alone_.

Anakin was _not_ his responsibility. That ship had sailed _years_ ago when he decided he could skip out on Anakin's life. "Stop pretending you actually care about him." Anakin doesn't need him by any means and he's actually told me that himself. Qui-Gon never made an attempt to come back into his life even though he'd paid off a lot of things—especially all of Anakin's medical bills. I shuddered to think what he might've felt if he'd actually given a damn about his son. If _my_ son were trying to kill himself and repeatedly ending up in the hospital, I'd be damn near close to death myself. He couldn't even love Anakin enough to care about him when he'd overdosed as a teenager.

I glanced at the corner of my monitor and smiled weakly at the picture of me and Anakin. It was an old picture, but I loved it still. "I _do_ care about him, Obi-Wan. I want to… I want to make amends for—"

I chuckled, glaring at him. "You think you can make up for missing out on his childhood, all of the things he needed a _father_ for?" This was a conversation we've had far too much since he'd come back and I was getting fed up with it. I resent him for all that he'd _not _done for Anakin because he'd definitely needed someone to protect him and guide him. Yes, Palpatine _had_ been there at times, but he wasn't always the best father figure. Not that Qui-Gon made him look bad. Palpatine took care of Anakin when he'd needed to stay out of school for a while. He'd taken Anakin to appointments with psychologists and, though I don't agree with this, he'd scared Anakin by threatening to put him somewhere where he'd be watched at all times, which meant no cutting and no suicide attempts. That hadn't _stopped_ him from hurting himself, but he gave it a try because he didn't want to end up there.

"I don't need you lecturing me on how to be a parent."

"Then maybe you should have _tried_ to be one," I snapped. "Instead of lying to him and his mother for the last twenty-some years, perhaps you could have _been_ there for him. You missed his kindergarten graduation, all of the little things he did throughout his school years, his prom, his graduation, and _so _many other things."

"You never saw him either, Obi-Wan, so don't treat me like I'm the only one who missed out on his life."

"I didn't even know you had a son!" I exclaimed, slamming my fist on the desk. "He's sixteen years _younger_ than me! Was I supposed to go back to high school, stalk him, and make him fall in love with me? No, Qui-Gon, I couldn't take him to prom or kiss him after he graduated from high school. I couldn't take him out to dinner to celebrate everything he'd done that a _father_ should be proud of him for. I wasn't there for any of these things either, but he's shared all of his memories with me." He looked heartbroken by that. _Good._ "He wishes we were closer in age because we _could_ have done all of this together. I would have loved to dance with him and walk him to class or have him walk me to class." Wow, what the fuck? I was essentially rewriting my high school experience over and inserting my fantasy years with Anakin in place of them.

Qui-Gon was silent for a moment. "I missed out on all of the important things in his life, Obi-Wan, and I'll regret that for the rest of my life, but there's nothing I can do to change that now. I need to build up some form of a relationship with him, but _you_ are the one holding us back."

I gaped at him, my vision going red briefly. "Are you _implying_ that I _control_ him?" He shrugged, which I took as a yes. "I do _not_ control him. He's a free man of his own free will. I _love_ him. If trying to protect him from your twisted, manipulative _lies_ is controlling him, then fine. I guess I just love him too much to see him hurt, Qui-Gon. I'm such a son of a bitch for _loving_ him."

He growled, something I was still not entirely accustomed to. "I _want_ to be in his life now, damn it. I wish you'd just let him make his own decisions and—"

"If I wanted you in my life, I would have let you in _myself._" I jumped, startled by the new voice in the room. I turned to look up at him. He was glaring at Qui-Gon, a paper bag in his hands. I stood up quickly, but he held his hand out towards me, telling me to stay put. "Obi-Wan is going to be my husband. He knows you better than I do and I'm your _son._ I trust _his _judgment about you because I know he isn't lying when he tells me what an asshole you are."

"Anakin Skylar—"

"You have _no_ right to just barge into my life now. I'm happy with Obi-Wan and mom. Hell, I was happy with _my_ dad. You're just the bastard who put the sperm in my mom. That's all you are to me." Well, damn. That must've been a very _low_ blow to Qui-Gon because the son of a bitch could only move his lips, grasping for something to say in response. "Get out," he hissed, looking down at the floor. I could see right through him. He was getting nervous, afraid. When Qui-Gon made no move to do as Anakin demanded, he grew furious. "I said _get out!_" I moved around the desk quickly, hitting my hip on the edge, but shoving the pain aside so I could get to _him._

"As your father—"

"Spare me of this fucking _bullshit._" He sighed exasperatedly. "I want to talk to Obi-Wan. Just leave. I don't want to see _you_ or _hear_ you."

I gripped Anakin's shoulder, gently squeezing it. He swayed backwards a bit, which immediately told me there was something wrong. Qui-Gon nodded, giving me one last glance before leaving. The fact that he looked at _me_ and not at _Anakin_ made me angry. He didn't want to be in Anakin's life. He wanted to interfere in our love life so he could _try_—and try indeed—to get into a relationship with me. "Anakin?" I prompted tentatively, staring up at him. He wouldn't look at me. "What is it?"

"I-I did something…_really_ bad." I kept silent, hoping he'd elaborate. The last thing I wanted to do was strain our relationship further after yelling at him this morning. "I…went to…went to see Lux." Oh, shit.

"Anakin—"

"I know," he said, shaking his head, his hand coming up to grip mine. "I'm acting like a damn teenager, but I wanted him to know he fucked with the wrong girl." Literally. "I may have…pummeled the hell out of him."

I sighed, planting my forehead against his chest. "Oh, Anakin…" Well, thus far, there hasn't been a report about it. I'm not sure if that's good or bad yet though. "How long ago?" I murmured.

"About an hour ago."

Ah, well, perhaps Anakin's message got across loud and clear. "You need to be more careful," I said quietly. "You're going to get yourself into trouble and you need to think about the repercussions _your_ actions will have on Ahsoka."

I lifted my head to look up at his face, finding him to be totally despaired. "You're right. I went there thinking I was doing something helpful, but I _wasn't._ I probably just fucked everything up." Last time we talked about this, Ahsoka said she was going to try to get into contact with Lux to let him know he was going to be a father whether or not he wanted to be involved—because I suppose it was just better for him to know outright. "I told him she was pregnant." His cell buzzed and he closed his eyes. He really didn't want to look at it in case it ended up being Ahsoka. I sighed, reaching into his jeans pocket, and pulled the phone out. "Does she hate me?"

"Well, she's not exactly happy with you," I said as I read the message silently.

"What did she say?"

I bit my lip momentarily. "Perhaps it's better if you read it yourself _later._" I hit the button to turn the screen off and slipped it back into his pocket. "Did you come here to tell me about seeing Lux or—?"

"No," he said rather quickly. "I…didn't like the way things were left this morning." This was good—admitting this was a step forward for us. I could smell the smoke on him, which was upsetting, but I knew _he_ knew he was better than this. He'd overcome this like he did before and I'd be there to guide him as he needed me. "I don't like arguing with you, especially over stupid things."

I smiled at him. "Hey, one argument won't tear us apart, Anakin." He sighed, shaking his head. "What?" I asked, watching him. He glanced over my shoulder and my blood ran cold. _Fuck._ "Anakin, whatever you think—"

"Is there something?" he blurted. "Honestly?"

I stared at him evenly, keeping eye contact with him. "Honestly, there is nothing." He looked like he didn't believe me and that hurt. He'd accused me of cheating on him before, but _this_ was different. He thinks I'm cheating on him for his father. "Why are you asking this?"

He looked at me incredulously and I suppose the answer was right in front of me. "You spend a lot of time with him nowadays, Obi-Wan," he said tightly. "I don't hear from you when you're at work anymore and all I see when I come in to visit you is _him._" Venom was in his voice and ice was in my soul. "If you hate him so much, why does he keep coming back to you? Why do _you_ keep letting him?"

"I—"

"Do you still love him?"

Silence hung over us. _How_ the hell could he ask me that? I would _never_ do that to him. He knows that—or at least I thought he did. He was waiting rather impatiently for my answer, but I was still trying to fathom how he came to the conclusion that I love the bastard who hurt us both so much. "No, Anakin." I could see that he didn't believe me; that was killing me inside. I thought I'd built up the trust between us again. I'd done everything I could to make him happy, so I didn't understand where this was coming from. He knows I'm in love with him and he knows how much I resent his father. There was no way in hell I was going back to Qui-Gon after the hell he let Anakin suffer. I didn't even consider my own personal hell because it was nothing in comparison to what he'd done to Anakin. The neglect of his only son led to so many horrible things, things I could only imagine after Anakin opened up to me about them. "I don't feel anything for him. I don't love him, like him, _or_ want to be with him."

He glanced away from me, drawing his lower lip in between his teeth. When he gasped, I followed his gaze. "Why in the _fuck_—what the _hell?_" No, no, no, no, _no._ I rushed over to the shelf he was staring at and grabbed the picture frame. Qui-Gon replaced the picture. He _had_ to have done it. There was no way I'd ever put a picture of him up in my office. Anakin spun to look at my desk. He saw the picture I had of us together, but he seemed to disregard that entirely. "Are you _lying_ to me?"

I held the picture frame in my hands, grasping for the right words to say to him. "Anakin, I'd never lie to you—not after what I did to you before." That seemed to make things worse…

"That's why I'm asking. You have a picture of him in here _and_ I know you've lied to me before about the way you feel about me." My heart was slowly crumbling in my chest. It felt like an internal avalanche. "You don't love me, do you?"

I surged towards him, pressing my hands against his chest. "Don't you ever ask me that again," I pleaded quietly. "You _know_ damn well that I love you." He wouldn't meet my eyes and it was killing me. How could he not believe me? He didn't understand how much my life turned upside-down without him in it. The year that he was gone, I didn't know how to function properly because _he_ was my life. Without him, I'd become a shell of a man. Finding him was the single most _blessed_ thing I'd experienced since proposing to him. I couldn't bear leaving him and he knew that. He knew a lot of things, but didn't seem to be thinking straight. "Anakin, if I didn't love you, I wouldn't be with you."

"I'm just a duty."

All of the air rushed out of me then. "_What?_" I asked brokenly.

"You feel responsible for me because you couldn't stop the kidnapping or the raping or any of the beatings they inflicted on me." He sounded so hateful as he gripped my hands and tore them away from his body. "You feel like you need to _fix_ me, don't you?"

Where in the name of God was this coming from? "Anakin—"

"Answer me!" he exclaimed, his furious eyes locking onto me finally. "You feel like you need to fix me, don't you?" he repeated, his voice so…unlike him.

"There's nothing _to_ fix!" I cried exasperatedly. "Anakin, I love you! I don't need to _fix_ you or take responsibility for what happened to you. I—"

"Oh, but you _do._"

"Because I love you!" I felt like I was grasping for nothingness right now because nothing was getting through to him. I don't understand _why_ he thinks this all of a sudden. This can't be about the fight we had this morning. That wasn't a severe argument and certainly didn't warrant _this._ "Why do I need a reason to love you, Anakin? I just do!"

"It _isn't_ that simplistic!" he bellowed. "You love _him!_ Just admit it to me, damn it. Lying to me, telling me to my _face_ that you love me when he's here… Obi-Wan, we both know that's bullshit."

"Oh, do we?" I reached out for him and he recoiled, burning me inside. "Anakin, what the hell did I do to make you think I don't love you? There's no one I want more than—"

"—my father. I know. Obi-Wan, he was the apple of your eye for more than two decades." I couldn't believe this. I just couldn't. How could we have gone from him admitting he didn't like how we'd left each other earlier to _this?_ "How can I compete with that love?"

I gaped at him. He looked away from me, frowning deeply—painfully. He was inflicting this pain upon himself, doubting that he was good enough for me. If only he knew how _perfect_ I thought he was. "There is _nothing,_" I said slowly, finally grasping his forearm, "_nothing_ to compete with. You have all of me, Anakin. I am _yours._"

"But you're also his."

Oh, if I didn't love him as much as I do, I would have _hit _him for saying such ludicrous things. "I am not _his._ Anakin, I belong to _you_ and _only_ you!" By this point, I'm sure we had a crowd gathering outside of my office. I didn't like this. I felt like I was going to lose him and I couldn't handle that. I couldn't bear thinking about living my life without him, without loving and being loved by him. "Stop this, please!" I begged him. I didn't beg. I _hate_ lowering myself to that, but I _needed_ to right now because I didn't know if I was about to lose him forever. "Anakin, I proposed to _you._ Even after I suspected Qui-Gon was alive, I proposed to _you._ I'm in love with you unconditionally. I have been for a little over two years now." He closed his eyes. "I don't understand where you got the idea that I think you're something I have to deal with and I can get rid of you once I've _fixed_ you." I spat when I emphasized on _fixed_ because I didn't see anything to fix. He's damaged, but we'd have to make do with that. I can't change him or magically make all of his hate, rage, and pains disappear. I can't make him stop fearing for his life, fearing that he'll be tortured again. "You're not a broken toy and you're not something I picked up from a file I read this morning. You're my fiancé—the _love of my life._"

"Just…stop."

"No! Not until _you_ stop all of this nonsense!" I cried out, lifting my hands to grip the sides of his face, forcing him to look at me. "I'm so damned in love with you that I think my heart might explode at times. Stop being foolish and _see_ that, Anakin."

Perhaps that wasn't the best way to resolve the issue… "Foolish? _I_ am being _foolish?_" I tried to stammer out an apology, but he kept fuming away. "Obi-Wan, I know I'm glass. I'll fall to pieces if someone so much as _touches_ me. I'm not the right guy for you. Qui-Gon is and—"

"—that is so far from the truth and you—"

"—you deserve better than me. I want you to—"

I really had to resist the urge to slap my hand over his mouth and _make_ him shut up. "—_stop!_"

He was crying now. Perhaps he realized how stupid he was being right now. He can't honestly think I love the man who hurt _him_ and betrayed me. I couldn't love someone who allowed their child to suffer and struggle knowingly and that's exactly what Qui-Gon did to Anakin. I couldn't forgive him for hurting my lover like that and I _never_ would. "I think we…shouldn't see each other anymore." My heart _shattered._ "…At least for a little while," he amended, backing away from me. He stood still for a long time and I could do nothing but stare at the wall beside his waist. How could he _say_ that? He sidestepped me and it took a great deal of strength to reach out for him, but he evaded that. "We'll… We'll talk later, Obi-Wan. I have to go." He rushed past me, taking all of the fragments of my heart with him. "I… I'm sorry."

Those were his last words before my office door slammed shut. I just could not believe this happened. He couldn't mean what he said… He just couldn't honestly tell me we can't be together anymore. _A little while._ No, he meant it, all right.

I turned slowly towards my desk, gripping the corners tightly. I stared blankly down at the surface, unsure of what I needed to do. As far as I knew, I hadn't done anything wrong. He was the one accusing me of something that was so far from the truth.

Of course, that realization couldn't simmer the rage building up inside of me. I tightened my hold on the desk and lifted up quickly, flipping it forward. The chair rolled back and hit the wall, the monitor crashing down onto the floor and all of my papers drifting off to create a white mess.

This was all _Qui-Gon's _fault.

He would _regret_ coming back into my life if I lost Anakin. I decided that standing here, thinking about the issue wasn't going to make it solve itself. I pulled my keys out of my pocket and spun, nearly ripping the door from its hinges as I surged through the threshold of my office as well as through the station.

I needed to get to Anakin before all of this became so much _worse._


End file.
